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I could dream of ways to see you
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another blog entry of the day/night/etc. status changed to attached now. I rmbred asking him when to make it official. and I suggested the day we meet up. so i guess, today is the official day. since today is the day we meet up. he told me somethings today. he said maybe he has to go to Australia for NS or something. I got disappointed by that. but i acted as if nothing happened. why disappointed? he's going away. i hate it if the people i love is far away from me... and its gonna be long for sure. like that time he went to Brunei... if he really is going away, what is going happen to our relationship...? i havent tell him about my disappointment yet. i dont want him to leave me... i really dont want to... my love for you... its getting more and more each day.. although i prefer when we sms and im closer and manje with you through sms, but even so, the love grew everyday. the words i love you means more and more to me. how i wish you could read this. but ure not the type to be always online. ure more of the going out with friends kind... i wish i could be by ur side everytime u need me. but i just cant. please dont leave me or hurt me. i promise i treat u better..... i love you azri.. i really do...
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
22:29
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okay. HAPPY NEW YEAR in advance! lol anw, today is the last day of year 2008. wheee~~ good bye 2008. HELLO 2009 =D uwaahh. 2009. 19 year old seh. lol! why the hell am i talking about being 19 years old when i just turned 18 in less than a week?? lol!! today. nothing much of random picture day. but the lesson was fine i guess. got the lab papers today. failed fundamental lab terrible =x 34/100 okay! i suck at those wires kind of thing okay. fundamental elec is nothing much interesting. except do the lab and such. then we finished one hour early for fund elec. went to have breakfast with sherr at fc3. ate mee goreng. but the mee goreng got that "flour-starchhyyy" kind of taste. and the after-taste was much more worst. so we ended up drinking our fruit juices. FAST. =x went to networking essential class. got our papers back. was okay i gues. because i got 99/100. stupid. the wire for the thingy at wrong port then minus one mark =( *sob sob* anw during our networking, me and sherr did the lab togehter and such. and it was fun =D and there's this thingy using java script which says "stop me if you can" then i said that to sherr. and sherr continued it to be "neni neni poo poo.. you cannot catch me. la la lalalalalalalala" lol!! and we both got stuck with it okay!! and sang it like super loud =x lol. ohs and today happened to be. Dict.1a.21 middle finger day. lol! it all started with... the lecturer asked me and sherr to help Niwei with the lab. since we both did kinda far somewhat. then idk what happened. i was more worried about going to the toilet fast!! lol!! anw, then idk what happened between sherr and ashraf. and the next thing i know, i saw ashraf showed sherr two middle finger. then im like "WTH??" i never seen him so vulgar before okay!!! then i told Isaac "wow. ive never seen that person so vulgar before" then he said "who? the black one." btw. we're not being racist here. its just a joke. then i look at thik. and guess what? he pointed middle finger to him!!! lol!!! then the four of us girl, me,sherr,minli and see theng, declared today to be "dict.1a.21 middle finger day" lol!! anw, lesson ended at about 12. went to meet Azri =D wheee~~ i was excited somewhat. then he was waiting at the bustop. we thought of taking 105 to IMM but idiotic bus didnt come. after we waited for more than 20 mins or half and hour or so. we decided to take 147 to clementi instead and then continue 99 to jurong east instead. idk why but i found my face blush. idk whether its blushing or the heat from the sun. but i know there's heat on my face =x lol! anw, we took the bus. and we didnt talk. i mean i was somewhat waiting for him to talk but he didnt!! urgghh then reached imm. followed me to pay something. then we went to ate lunch. at least okay. he paid for my large fries. i have no idea why i ordered large. i know i miss the fries. but after eating it a lot. i found that my tongue was in pain. thank you to the salts in the fries =S lol. then he accompanied to go interview at swensens. saw fauzi asked him to get the manager or soemthing. then he said come back at 330pm. im like wth? so long okay! then tried burger king then they say no part time -.- idiot. so im officially giving up on finding a job. lol. then we went home took 98. super quiet again. i was waiting for him to like hold my hands or something?? lol. so i got myself disappointed and somewhat fell asleep. lol. then after we went home and such. ohs i got a little bit of problem with parents =x i was late and didnt reply their call. so i got scolded =x lol. when we went home, and also, i got to know he was waiting for me to break the ice. he didnt hold my hands because he was waiting for me. im like wth?? lol! and he looks serious. i was kinda afraid of him =x lol fine oh well. and one more shocking news. his family somewhat "pressed the button" to ask him to find a steady gf. and he needs one year for me to be his steady girlfriend. and while he, need a year to make me his official steady girlfriend and also introduce me to his parents. i need less than a year to somewhat "spill" his name out to my parents. omg omg omg. this is super crazy. i wonder.... will my parents accept him better than that "other person"? anw, azri is older. will my parents mind? haish..... less-than-a-year! omg omg omg!!!!!! anw, im done for now. see ya =D ps: happy advanced new year!! xD
19:48
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a thingy from sherr. it scares me as if i never do, i will die painfully =xTHREE NAMES YOU GO BY: lin. norlin. "little-miss-sunshiine." THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU’VE HAD: little-miss-sunshine. cut3yl1n <-super super long time ago! little-miss-sunshine. =x THREE THINGS YOU’VE DONE IN THE LAST 33 MINUTES: blogged. did crs. chatted. THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: i like my specs. i like my cant-ignore-a-person-for-more-than-one-day. i like my i-cant-hate-a-person-for-more-than-3-days. THREE THINGS YOU DISLIKE ABOUT YOURSELF: cant be angry at people. (well, i laugh a lot even when im angry) starting to love pretending. too soft-hearted. THREE PARTS OF YOUR ORIGINS: weird question =xmalay. mum is a javanese. human. THREE THINGS YOU’RE AFRAID OF: heights. insects. operations/people i love died. THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: undergarments. strawberry shortcake top =x long pants xD THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: wow kewl. sherr dont need oxygen =xWater. oxygen. Spectacles. THREE IMPORTANT OBJECTS: PSP. PHONE. Lappy. THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: the academy is. the jonas brothers. err... old boybands? THREE WAYS TO BE HAPPY: taking random pictures with sherr. going shopping. smsing my dear azri =x THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: on the line -demi lovato and jonas brothers lalaland - demi lovato god knows - idk who =x THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: a strong person in the heart. stop pretending. make more money =x THREE THINGS YOU REGRET: errr. confessing to ashraf =x should have study more for Fund elec paper =x should have ask more for fund elec lab =x THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP: truthful/honest. clean. slow-paced. THREE IMPORTANT THINGS YOU’RE GIVING TO THE WORLD: love. love. time =D TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in order): i hug my little-miss-sunshine evrynite i love azri =x i hate shoes. THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: height =x looks. height =x THREE EMOTIONAL THINGS YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX: truthful/honesty. love me for who i am. caring. THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO: get my weight to be 45kg. have more money. grow taller. =x THREE THINGS YOU MISS FROM YOUR PAST: him. my less assignment life. my secondary school life. THREE GIFTS YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE: a white rose/a sunflower from a guy esp =x wiiiiii money $$ THREE REASONS WHY YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE: genes from parents. people close to me. err... idk =x THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES: shopping. blogging. random pictures with sherr =x THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW: go out with azri. get a job. START DOING NOTES IN ADVANCE!!! THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING: teacher. web designer seems fun. the perfect housewife =x haha!! THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO FOR HOLIDAY: maybe not holiday. more like honeymoon =xhawaii paris sentosa! LOL!! THREE CARTOON CHARACTERS: blossom-PPG Clover-Totally Spies(non stop loves going shopping. i wonder where she get her money from =x) errr.. jerry- tom & jerry. lol! THREE BOY’S NAMES: md qaisyful azhim. md noh amirrul =D md azri =x haha! THREE GIRL’S NAMES: nur qurratul ain. nur diana. nur netty fiona. THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: get married =x love the close people around me to the fullest. have kids and a happy life. THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ OR DIE PAINFULLY: dayak. and whoever. whoever.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
22:16
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whee.. a sunny day today. a bright day. little miss sunshine day! i wore yelloooww today anw. bright as the sun. wheeee~~~ hmm okay.. today's blog gonna be flooded by pictures. since yesterday i lost the mood of blogging and uploading. yesterday and today is a RANDOM picture day. me and sherr had fun taking random pictures. lol. yesterdaythe 4 dict.1a.21 girls when to take pictures. our first two pictures of term 4 =D then that was during Fundamental Electronic lesson. then after we came back, the lecturer started on a new topic. flip flops such cute name =D i know i needa start buying flipflops also. xD anw, the topic is kinda okay i guess. havent start doing early studying =S then after FE, it was Networkin Essentials. its tutorial. but that day, she havent start the new topic. so she was talking about the next year options. lol. im thinking of taking. "Web Technology and Services." then she was explaining infront while me and sherr was taking random pictures. lol! here they arreee: #1 this is a very funny picture. lol! #2 sherr's figurine thingy. #3 again. sherr's figurine. #4 that small red heart was taken out from sherr's box of pocky! such cute red heart!! #5 wheee pocckkyyyy =D then after that was our break. and Java and Ideas. ohs IDEAS. it was our presentation. we were UNPREPARED okay! lol!! its like wth? the title on the few back slides are not the same as the front slides. then reflections by sherr and isaac still not done. lol! then i was like the one editing the thing while the others was like writing the order of speakers. i was the 2nd i think. lol. they got my admin number and i was editing. at first we thought we could just overlap the title. but it became SUPER ugly when in the slideshow mode. lol. so i copied pasted and edited every title. lol! then during the presentation wise. it was super funny! especially for one of the elaborations for "harmony" it was sherr's slide. and on her slide. she wrote: "there you go. there's talking to each other!" and ashraf was the one reading that and he was like "wth?" lol!! then sherr was like laughing so much on the floor! hahax. it was super funny!! thats why we said we were unprepared!. we dont even know what is written on all the slides! lol. we had so much fun though as a group. laughing like mad. the first group was like the serious kind of group when they present. ours is like the SUPER MAD & CRAZY group! and the third group was somewhere in the middle of serious and fun. lol!! that was the end of yesterday. today. i wake up a little late. 8 am. =D then went to school at about 830 am. just for fun. lol! sherr was late today. thought of having early lunch with her. but its okay. ohs and i took my another twin! out of which i hug her every single day & night! reached school at about 930. sat at moberly. alone. lol. and played psp. and eating my cream puff. then went to the toilet and took random pictures =D #1 i love that full length mirror at Moberlyyy. #2 okay an attempt to act cute =x hahax! anw, went to class after that. CRS lesson. it was like kinda empty. many people are kinda late. we sat in group to discuss about the Discussion Cafe. sherr came after some time. and so does ashraf and thik. then we talked and also we forgot about databases =x haha! then we discuss as a group. the lecturer checked on our ppt slides and i was like writing everything down. the errors and such. lol. ohs and i love the new chairs there. its so bouncy okay! at some point of time, i was somewhat "bouncing" my chair and then isaac and thik pull down my chair =x thank god i didnt scream. and thank god i didnt fall! lol!! and then we talked about idk what. oh yea. we're meeting up this new year to finish up our presentation slides and editing everything. then i came out with "okay new year. then we can celebrate new year together" then thik and isaac got sidetracked. lol. then i said "okay okay back to this." then they were like "see la. who started it first?" i replied "yeah okay. norlin started it." lol. i know we sidetracked a lot okay!! like we laughing a lot and then the lecturer came beside us and asked "are u discussing?" then we were like "yeah yeah." lol!!! it was so fun!! then after that our break. me and sherr ate lunch together with thik,ashraf and isaac. lol. me and sherr ate roti pratas! one egg and one cheese! the cheese taste so much better =D hehex. then we talked about other stuffs until our time to go for fund elec lecture. that lesson is such a bore okay! and here me and sherr go taking random pictures. AGAIN! and whats worst. we were sitting right infront of the teacher's table. and there's psp on our table. playing even. lol!! ohs and sherr gave me my birthday present. which is SUPER CUTE!!!my face was totally flushed with happiness okay!! lol. because its SUPER cute!!! #1 sherr's cutte yellow pauuu bouncy thingy!! together with my yellow strap and yellow bangles =D #2 sherr's thingy with my bangle =D #3 little bit left of my favourite drink! pineapple + watermelon juices#4 sherr stuffs on her table together with my psp =x! messy! i knowww!! #5 sherr stuffs and together with her psp this time. =D lol then networkin essential lecture ended. then we went down to fc3 to buy tidbits. i bought that chocolate moouse or watver it is called. btw its a cake. and its super niceee!! so creammyy and chocolateyyy =D hehex. then we went back class for fund elec tutorial. i took a random picture of sherr's flipflops and my white sandals =D lol! im gonna be her white twin =D wheeeee~~ i had a fun day today! and tomorrow. i hope its better. meeting Azri tomorrow. wheeeee~~~~ yeaaaa!! hehex. aite i have to start advance studying and advance notes writing. see ya =DD Labels: random
19:36
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i gave up on both of you.
seriously i just cant win. both of u always have the right thing to say that makes my words go back and hurt me. so whats the use? i rather be left hurt just to see you guys happy. no i wont be angry or hate either of you behind ur back. i promised rmbr? but its okay. as a friend, all i want is u guys to be happy. nothing to do with me okay? do anything u guys want. as long as ure happy. dont have to care about me. i guess i have to start learning to be independent. then so be it.
i guess its time for me to wear a mask now. u guys broke ur mask. now its my turn. ill show that im happy with everything. its okay. im getting better at pretending. i dont need u guys to see through me. because i know u guys are very good with that. and so deserve to be with each other.
to let u guys as a couple or not? it doesnt make any difference to me either anyway. its ur choice. u guys can make each other happy then okay. im not involve in anything. just one. dont forget that i exist in this world. let me talk to both of like how we used to do it before u guys are together. either one trying to ignore me, then very well. im gonna start hating.
to let you go. should i let u go now so you could be together? or should i stay a little while longer? the heartache isnt there anymore. im losing a little grip i guess. but if u want more, im sorry i need time. but wait i dont think it matter anymore.since well, ill be wearing a mask =DD happy as the sunshine =))
i guess thats the end. all things let out. i felt a little lighter. hatred isnt there anymore. i know its harsh for the things ive said to both of u. i just want to make my stand. both of can choose to ignore each other. but i guess fate bought u guys together. no one can change their fate. im sure of that. then so be it.
no there isnt a single tear drop. wow congrats to me. be happy u guys. i want to share that happiness too if possible.
if ure unhappy with me blogging about this. let me know. i will keep it as draft. for now. let it be in my blog as i want to keep it a little while longer.
thats all. thanks for letting me open up everything. thanks for not hating. thanks for still being my friends. my wishes to you both. be happy. you guys ought to be =)
Monday, December 29, 2008
22:48
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lost my appetite. im shivering and idk why. urgh. angry........
19:59
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okay. im currently in school. blogging. during Java lesson. while she is going through the MST. =x ookay i know im bad =D anw, today school starts. Term 4 =D wheeee i kinda miss school. but today it a wet morning. rained while im in the bus to Lakeside. awww how nice if i could sleep all the way... but oh well. i had enough of the 3 weeks holiday. then so be it. today is somewhat a picture day. i took a lot of random pictures today =D whee~ i will upload the pictures later when im at home since sherr dont let me upload her pictures =x hahax. what happened the last two days...... yesterday. went out to Geylang with mum and dad. went to look around for tudongs =D wheee i got my blue and pink and green tudong =D thanks to mum who paid for them. after that, went out to jurong point. mum and dad wanted to find something. ohs and dad bought me that little miss sunshine $30 50cm plushiieee. out of which i hug it yesterday night when i sleep =D hahax. hahax. saturdayi finally got my room backkk... bro's family went back to his house on friday night. so i have to clean my room and such. and its super dusty! anw, im happy i got my big big bed back and my big big wardrobe for my clothes =D hahax. ohs and this coming Wed, im going for an interview at Swensens @ IMM. out of which, i really want that job due to my draining money in my bank =s hahax. hmm. other than that, there's nothing much after that. except that i got 2 of my results for MST today. Fundamentals Electronics = 67 Networking Essentials = 72 Java = A
as for my soon-to-be bf =x hahax. anw, we're supposed to meet up today after school. but he's currently sick. so. oh well. maybe tmr =D aite. thats all for now. my Java teacher gonna start on new topic =S so see yyyaaaa. Note to ownself: start studying in advance tonight. together with notes-writing =D
12:50
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wheee i had a blast today!! except the part where my little miss sunshine plushie walked out of my life. it was hanging on my phone yesterday. then it went missing in the morning. urgggh. lol it was more a cool and wet day today. as in it rained a little in the morning. and i got a kiss from a mosquito =.= irritating! and it kiss me right on my lips. so that somewhat explains the red lipstick in the next few photos. then did nothing in the morning actually. lol. watched tv; played psp; and wonder around the house =s lol! ohs and bro and sis gave me their present =D you know what? you know what?? A SHOEEEE!! a silver colored kitten heels! love it =D ohs and while im here. i took a picture of my shoe boxes with shoes in it =x thats well not even half of my shoes collection =x lol! there's still a cupboard below to store my shoes =x hahax. im crazzyy about shooesss. =D anw, then went online a little while and then went to get ready for the swensens treat =D i was dressed in yellow today =D wheee~ i love that yellow dress xD then took pictures of me and my nieces and mum and sis before going out. then went to imm and waited for bro and dad to come after their solat. so we waited and walked around a little. they finally came and we got a seat in SWENSENS =D and guess who i saw? FAUZI. lol! i asked him to kirim salam to his mum. lol. anw, sat and ordered. i ordered fish and chips and ring-a-ding-a-ling icecream!. my favourite. i didnt take the picture of my fish and chips because well, i was too hungry =x lol. i took the picture of my icecream instead =D ohs and i got one free icecream due to my birthday today. its called fire house. fwwweee offf charrrgeee =D fwee of chargeee firehouse =D my favourite ring-a-ding-a-ling. -BEFORE--AFTER-then when im going off. saw fauzi again. he smiled and waved. i waved and smiled back. lol! weird =s anw, went around at giant after that. bought a correction tapes "set" which costs 99c =D hahax. went to hug my little-miss-sunshine big plushie. daddy still not buying for me! =x anw went home. celebrate with a cake just afew hours back. lol. i chose the cake. chocolate truffle from Polar. my birthdayy cakkeee~ my slice of the cake. it looks nice with the cream in the middle. but guess what? THERE'S RAISINS INSIDE! YUCKS YUCKS YUCKSS!!! i hate raisins!!!i guess thats all for now. wait. i want to thank a lot of people for the wishes =D thanks to my bestt friendss#1 sherr for the earliest wish. which was one and half hour to midnight. and also the facebook wall-to-wall msg. #2 liyana. for the sms 2 minutes after midnight. #3 rohani. for the sms 8 minutes after midnight. #4 daniel. for the tag of blog 1 hour and 31 minutes after midnight and also the sms. =D to the other people from facebook/sms # my soon-to-be-bf. azri. for the sms in the morning while i was charging my phone =D # dayak for the tag on my blog =D # cuzzy taufik for the wall to wall in facebook =D # minli for the sms. # atiqah for the wall-to-wall in facebook. # lizzie for the "old old old" in wall-to-wall in facebook and blog. =D # bama for the chocolates and online gifts in facebook. # xueli for the wall-to-wall in facebook. # shafi for the msn wish. # nandhini for the facebook chat. # and whoever ive missed =D hahax. thanks for remebering my birthday. i will try to rmbr urs =D aite. i will never forget this day. and most importantly. thanks to daddy: for that adv 500 dollars u gave me in adv out of which im left with 100 dollars and less =x mummy: for that carlo rino bag set =D bro and sis: that kitten heels =D my nieces and nephew: for that irritating and noisi-ness from u guys. lol. and i love my bf md noh amirrul =D lol. my bestest nephew =D aite =D thats all.see ya! Labels: 18th birthday to myself =D
Friday, December 26, 2008
21:49
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wheee~~ I CANT WAIT FOR SWENSENS TREAT TOMORROOOWWW!! wheeee~~ lol. sorry im kinda mad. have been hyper active after watching High School Musical 2 just now at Disney channel =D it doesnt seem to rain today. actually today isnt pretty much my day =s well, a series of unfortunate things happened. lol #1 i dropped my phone =x as in i wanted to pick it up from the vcd player. then it slipped and fell to the speaker. then fell again on the floor. ouch ouch!! lol #2 went to look for tudongs. cant find the colors i wanted. urgh #3 my niece stepped on my already-okay sandals! as in my mum went to sew that white sandals. then my niece go stepped on it and then the thing snapped -.- then i have to freaking waste $10 on a new pair of sandals. i dont freaking need it! i need that $10 for stationery and daniel's gift!urggghhhh #4 my favourite wanton noodle stall was closed -.- urgh super irritating! then reached home was super moody. then ate lunch. then went out again with brother. dad finally allowed him to get himself a psp. lol! so he bought the slim version blue in color! lol. as for me, i got myself a yellow colored handphone straps =x hahax. oh well. i do need the sticker for my psp. and i can have my psp anytime i want! yay!!! anw. im happy for myself tomorrow. i dont really celebrate my birthday on the exact day. lol. i think i did but it was way long when im only a single-digit age. lol. aite school gonna starts. cant wait =D MST results are gonna be out! yay! =x lol!! ohs and btw. im suddenly in love with the cheeseburger flavour pizza of two-for-one. and ive never ate 3 slice of extra large pizza before! omg. i broke my record! lol! well, my record was 2 medium size. hahax oh well. see ya!
Thursday, December 25, 2008
21:44
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today is a wet and cool day. raining a lot. i have was FORCED to work up early today. yeap. forced! dad not working today. well, he's more like having company shutdown for 5 days. and he's not gonna work all the way till next monday. the same day as my first day of term 4 =s anw, i woke up at 8. i usually wake up 9 though. when he's working that is. anw, i woke up at 8 and it was raining. more raining pictures. idk why but i like looking at rain nowadays. not only looking. i like taking pictures even =D hahax. and i played with panorama shots today. haha. well, i was pretty much bored. as in.. got nothing to do. lol. so here's the pic =x its a lame and crazy picture. i know. hahax! your're online! =xanw. went to sheng siong with dad at about 10 plus. i was again forced to follow him. because if not, ill end up sleeping =x lol! please let me sleep longer for a few more days. school gonna starts in about.. *counts* 5 more days! like OMG! 5 more days to waking up early!!! every morning. 615 am. okay actually not really. i can choose to wake up and go school late on tuesdays. but i choose to go early instead. lol. ohs and tomorrow's daniel's birthday. we dont celebrate together as a couple though. only those "happy birthday dear. love yyou. muuackx" =x lol. anw, i still gonna wish him tomorrow. and if ure reading this daniel, then very well.. to daniel: happy 18th birthday! i know how u dont really like celebrating birthday. as usual u said "ure just one year older to death." lol. anw, may you be happy with the things u do and also be happy with whoever ur future gf is. =x no matter how weird u think you are, i never ever think ure one. thanks for being the best bf ever for the past 3 years and so. thanks for everything. i will soon get u a present =D and i hope it wont remind u of me that much. hahax. anw, be happy and laugh and make silly and lame jokes as u always do =x haha. and thanks for still being my friend and giving me a lot of advice. greatly appreciated it. =D in short; HAPPY BIRTHDAY! may ur wishes come true =DD one more day to my birthday. wheeee~ hahax. swensens with family =D hahax. i miss eating at swensens!! anw, school gonna start 3 days after my birthday. how terrible =x hahax. thought about az and you yesterday night. thanks to the advice from daniel. everyone deserves a chance. eh wait. no. chances are given. he insisted that is from farah. very well. anw, ive decided to give the chance to az. then very well. im sure the love will come as the days pass by when im with him. as for ash, very well. i know i can never block u out of my mind. but i guess the feelings will die out after sometime. as again that's from daniel =x then hmm... idk why but i got a feeling my parents are gonna like him. him = az that is =x urghh. 3 years older than i am. hmm.... i guess thats all for now. i still do wonder how im gonna face you when school start. embarassment. "paiseh". hurt? maybe. maybe not. hmm.. saw ur pm msn nick. "a lonely christmas this year..." hmm i wonder why and what. maybe u did have a special friend after all. oh well. im in no position to force u to like me. then very well. i respect that =D thats all for now =D see ya. ohs and ive done my part for my crs and IDEAs presentation slides. does that mean i finish doing it =x lol. actually i volunteered to do the animations for IDEAs ppt slides. lol. i can only do the animations when all of them have done their part. lol. anw. thats all and i got to know that something bad is gonna happen on monday! =x oh mannnnnnn! anw. nitex and merry christmas to everyone who reads my blog =D
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
21:24
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okay idk why but i feel like posting pictures of the rain.. lol sudden rain twice. i wonder why... what happen to sunshine? im feelin a little down today. maybe its the rain. and also because of my backache plus tummy ache. idiot. bad combination. its the same combination as to get menses. urgghhh! im lost. i got caught with a love triangle. there's u all over again. and idk why. to me, love is when everytime you went online, the msn pop up, and my heart skipped. and i got shocked. unable to say anything. then when ure no where near, i will find for you. look out for you. and when anyone mention ur name, i heard it.. omg.. why cant i just block you out when there's azri? i got tied down. making him happy when im not really as happy. is this what i want? everyone hates and fears rejection. thats a fact.i got rejected by you. i dont want to reject az. i just cant.... urgghhh the feeling of lost and the love triangle......
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
20:49
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random pictures
okay. my blog has been pretty much wordy. lets add some random pictures. xD half of them are my random pictures. as for the others; they are pictures taken that time during my ORCHARD for IDEAs assignment trip =D as for the linaniyana photos. i still havent get them from liyana =x #1 taken by thik. i attempt to act cute =x hahax. while eshton is figuring something out =x lol! #2 my IDEAs group members. without Isaac in it. L to R :thik;ashraf;eshton;myself;sherr #3 head to toe =D #4 random reflection schools gonna start too. hmm maybe i should go shopping again. despite of the draining money in my bank =S i think i have enough of dresses. I THINK. i know i need some tudongs{blue.green.pink} =D and stationery wise. my papers are all over in my bag. i threw them inside right after the MST. ohs and start of school, MST results! wheee! i cant wait. lol! okay i really wanna end this holiday. i had fun going out with my friends and such. but please. i cant stay at home any longer.! its killiinngggg mmeeeee =x hahax. oh well. new term. new bf =x hahax! oh well. see ya =D
11:28
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one week till school starts. first year. sem 2. last term. uwaaahhhh!! 4 more days to a year older. legally E-I-G-H-T-E-E-N. finalllyy~ hahax! my plans for tomorrow.. stay at home and rot even more =x hahax! how i wish Az would be free tomorrow. but he said he has a lot of work this week all the way till new year. how sad. oh well. 4 more days. maybe that is also the day when i will change my current status. am i willing to take the love risk all over again? it will hurt. it will also be fun. what if i fall? will he pick me up? he made me promise something to him. im supposed to guide him. guide. its such a big word. how can i guide him through the darkness if i cant find the light myself? maybe he will be my light. and we will go through the dark tunnel together... all lessons learnt before. will be used. thanks for the lessons daniel.
never tried being with an older guy. esp 3 years older. my bro and sis are also 3 years difference. will my relationship with Az lasts? why am i thinking so far when we're not together yet? is he the one i want? i do feel comfortable smsing him & when he called. i always wanted someone to call me. =x anw, how is our relationship gonna work? he's working all the way till 5 pm. and the only days i can meet him is on monday? and tues. there will be lunches together. maybe everyday? he said his camp is only 5 bustops away SP. im no able to go out on weekends. nor at nights. oh man. this is much harder than i thought =x
oh well. i guess. when the love is strong;anything can happen.
Monday, December 22, 2008
21:08
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backache
im SUPER bored. and im having backache! irritating!! Linaniyana are suppposed to go shopping tomorrow. but rohani has to go to school as for liyana... she havent reply yet. i really wanna go watch TWILIGHT. anyone wanna go with me tomorroww? i cant go with Azri. I wish I could but he has to work. hmm.. other than that I have no idea what happen to my other assignments. I did my part for CRS but idk what happened to IDEAs since the photos are still with ashraf. he's online but i havent been talking to him. idk if i should or not... oh well. 4 more days to be legally 18. legal. legal to do what? i know you can start smoking and such. but as for me? what am i legally alowed to do? do i have the permission to be legally allowed to go out with my friends often? oh i hope so. 2 more years till the end of my teen years. oh my. so fast! and next year, it will be my last teen years. nine-teen. twenty. then twenty-one! oo idk why but im looking forward for twenty-one =x oh well. off to play facebook. see ya =D
10:20
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bulletins~fromm my dearrr dayak =D LETTER 'A' 1. Are you Available? - hahax. maybe? 2. What is your Age? - 18 in 5 more days. 3.Are you agitated? - nope xD LETTER 'B' 4. Do you live in a Big house? - LOL. nope xD 5. When is your Birthday? - 5 more days. 21 + 5 = 26 DECEMBER 1990 xD THE LETTER 'C' 6. What's your favorite Chocolate? - ferrero rochee & toblerones & kinder buenooo THE LETTER 'D' 7. Do you Daydream? - hahax. if i really have nothing else to do xD 8. What's your favorite kind of Dog? - noone 9. What Day of the week is it? - SUNDAY THE LETTER 'E' 10. Have you ever been in the Emergency room? - noooppe 11. Did you have a crush that starts w/ letter M? - lol. his front name. Md something something =x THE LETTER 'F' 12. Favorite Flower? - white roses & yellow sunflowers =D THE LETTER 'G' 13. Do you chew Gum? - yes pplease! 14. Are you a Giver or a taker? - somewhere in the middle? THE LETTER 'H' 15. What's your Height? - 1.58 cm =x shorrrttiiie 16. What color is your Hair? - blacckkkyyy THE LETTER 'I' 17. What's your favorite flavor of Ice cream? - chocolate & cookies and creaaamm 18. Have you ever Ice skated? - noppee 19. Do you play an Instrument? - used to playing flute & recorder & harmonica =x THE LETTER 'J' 20. Have you ever heard a really hilarious Joke? - errr yea? lotx of them. even non-hilarious ones =x 21. Do you wear Jewelry? - yeap. currently ring & earrings onlyy xD THE LETTER 'K' 22. Do you want Kids? - yes please. if possible. a twin of boy & girl. HOW ADORABLE! 23. Where did you have Kindergarten? - errr. i cant rmbr the name =X THE LETTER 'L' 24. Have you ever Lied to your parents? - yeap =x to let me have a little freedom xD THE LETTER 'M' 25. Last Movie you watched? - HSM 3 26. Do you still watch disney Movies? - yea? HSM is under disney movies isnt it? 27. Do you like Mangoes? - sweeetttt ones xD THE LETTER 'N' 28. Do you have a Nickname? - norlin & lin xD 29. What's your favorite number? - F-I-F-T-E-E-N. WHATS THAT SPELL? 15! 30. Do you prefer Night over day? - not really. im a morning kind of person =x THE LETTER 'O' 31. Whats your One wish? - to have a wonderful bf =x lol! jk no lar. to have more wishes? THE LETTER 'P' 32. What is one fear you are most paranoid about? - losing a person i love THE LETTER 'Q' 33. Are you Quick (to) judge people? - nopppee THE LETTER 'R' 34. Do you watch Reality tv? - not really THE LETTER 'S' 35. Do you want to have son? - yea. as i said. a twin of a boy and a girl! 36. Do you like Snow? - maybe? lol THE LETTER 'T' 37.where did you went today? - IMM & JE 38. What time did you wake up? - 8 am THE LETTER 'V' 39. Whats the worst veggie? - anything thats crunchy? infact. i hate most veggies =x40. Where do you want to go on Vacation? - rome.hawaii =x THE LETTER 'W' 41. Will you go back to the past? - yes if possible. THE LETTER 'X' 42. Have you ever had an X-ray? - yeap. once. sccaarrryyyy 43. Do you own a xylophone? - nope. THE LETTER 'Y' 44. Do you like the color yellow? - yeap. not too bright. just nice kind of yellow =D THE LETTER 'Z' 45. Whats your Zodiac sign? - Capricorn/Horse xD
Sunday, December 21, 2008
21:49
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urghhh! I lost my blue butterfly hairband.. AGAIN!lol. after some time i will find it and then i will lost it again =x oh well didnt blog for the past two days. was lazy to go online. my 18th birthday is near. and idk why but im going back to my "sleep-early" habit. lol. two weeks ago, the latest i sleep is at 1am. since the last few days, the latest i can stay is at 11.15pm. urgghh. and yesterday i slept at 10 plus!!! wth is wrong with me! lol. okay. hmm saturday.. what did i do on saturday.... oh yeah. went for interview. no hope. they say the place is full. idiotic crew at JP. never check first. -.- was pissed and felt let down real bad. oh well. went to met with mum and dad at JP after that. went around to look for Twilight storybook at Harris. OUT OF STOCK!. oh well. then went to Jw after that to buy lunch. later that evening, went to 399 with dad. bought the waffles from PRIMA DELi xD yuuummmm. im so in love with the chocolate Wafflleee xD hmm then today is Sunday. what did i do today.... oh yea. went to IMM with dad and mum. dad got me a new line for me. Youth Plan under Singtel. the benefits? #1 unlimited SMS to any providers. #2 Campus Call. #3 100 min outgoing. #4 free incoming. #5 free caller-id for 12 months. so cool okay! #1 ESPECIALLY!. i can sms azri with peace =D lol.ohs and I bought my first pair of shoes from DMK. xD maybe i should try buying from Mondo xD i bought a white covered shoes. not high heels. acceptable heels =D mary jane somewhat =D yay! my another pair of mary jane!. ohs and im eyeing for that LITTLE MISS SUNSHIINE PLUSHIE! THE VERY BIG ONE! AT GIANT/MINI TOONS!. lol! i showed my mum and dad. and they were like. okay okay, maybe they buy. lol! OHS! i went to IMM POPULAR to find for the TWILIGHT storybook! and you know what? there's ONE LEFT. AND I TOOK THAT ONE!! LOL! LUCKY DAY xD started reading it already. love it. but i still wanna watch in theatre!!!!!!! hmm other than that. i guess nothing else. watched first half of the AFF suzuki cup with mum,dad and bro. and it was chaotic. lol! azri went to watch with his friends at the National Stadium. hmm talking about azri. both of us are getting closer i guess. and idk why, but now i cant live without smsing him. =x could it be that im falling for him? im not sure myself. urrgghh... i guess thats all for now. see ya =D
21:25
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went so school today. did maths pbl. did half of the 4 questions. lol. met see theng at the MRT station. then hmm.. sherr was talking about ang moh guys. and he maths pbl was sucky okay. i mean like take a lot of methods and its about permutation and combination. irritating! and the due is like.. week 13. 2nd week of jan or so. urghh. and its freakingly 5 percent only!!!. okay nothing to talk about i guess. went to library after that. walked with minli. and we talked about idk what. haha. and our birthdays are just a week or less. hahax. oh man im turning 18! does it make any different anyway? lol. smsed azri a lot today. smsed him at about 2 plus all the way till 5 or so =x dead man! my bills are gonna be exploaded all over again. and he offered to buy me a prepaid card. and he's gonna top it for me just at the end of the month. lol. he's the one smsing alot =s oh well. aite idk what else to blog about. see ya =D
Friday, December 19, 2008
21:13
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addicted to demi Lovato
oh yeah im so addicted with her songs! its like i found about 3 songs that reminds me so much of danielin. urrghh. irritating okay. but oh well. trainwreck.don't forget & on the line. and the songs are here in my blog. so yeap. feel free to listen. just dont get addicted like me =x okay today went visiting my uncle who passed away. the wife, was telling story about him. i was trying not to cry but oh man, im super sensitive when it comes to people dying. hmm other than that, i smsed Azri a lot today =s. my bills are so gonna go up all over AGAIN! t h a t i s b a d! anw, he called me in the morning using a different number. lol and got to know he has two numbers. one for sms and another for call. then in the afternoon when i reached home, he said he's gonna take a nap. then i said "maybe after ur nap, u can give me a call" so i somewhat waited for him. and i ended up falling asleep =x lol! oh well, he called at about 5 plus or so. its okay =)) hmm i wonder.... if we ever get in a relationship. will it lasts? I see that Liyana is happy with her bf who is older than her. will i be happy if Azri is my boyfriend? much happier than how i used to be? i wonder.....but for now, im in the process of knowing him =D hopefully by sometime, my feelings will develop. i think xD aite thats all for now. see ya =D We were so different, but opposites attract So my hope kept growing, and I never looked back You're one of a kind No one can change this heart of mine, oh ~ trainwreck You had your dreams, I had mine You had your fears, I was fine Showed me what I couldn't find When two different worlds collide ~two worlds collide
Listen, baby! Never would have said forever If I knew we´d end so fast Why did you say I love you If you knew that it wouldn´t last? Baby, I just can´t hear what you´re saying The line is breaking up Or is that just us, or is that just us?
One in the same, never to change Our love was beautiful We got it all, destined to fall Our love was tragical Wanted to call, no need to fight You know I wouldn´t lie But tonight we´ll leave it on the line ~on the line
Thursday, December 18, 2008
19:49
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azri
new skiin =D yay this skin was done out of randomness =x i like little miss sunshine. and also, its been quite a few months since i touched my adobe photoshop =s haha. so yeap. played with it a little. the colors and the brushes. and i downloaded some new brushes too. and the name for my adobe photoshop is still danielin. lol. i dont think i cant change that. then so be it i guess. and... im not going out with Amirul tomorrow to watch twilight =( ohs my twilight! well, because one of my uncle passed away... so i have to go visiting tmr... its scary to how the word of someone dying is to me. okay nvm enough talking about dying. anw, just one thing to add. the book that im currently reading : the bride stripped bare, is a scary book =x lol. not scary as in ghost kind. but its like.. okay inside the book, there's stuffs about sex and such. i happened to read the last page and the postscripts. it says that the author, was nowhere to be found. and so the one who publish the book is i think the mother of the girl. and she said that her daughter was nowhere to be found and there's the stroller of the daughter's son was found near a cliff! eee scary. but nice story. idk why but it reminds me of daniel. as in the indirectness of the way the author wrote the story... anw, azri smsed me a million dollar question. "when can i be his gf" i can be. like now. but i just afraid of falling all over again. urgghhh. got to know about something else. marriage! urghgh forget it. lol. will talked about it later i guess. okay scarrryy!!!! nvm. see ya. okay this is funny. i dont really enjoy watching camp rock that much but im stuck with Demi Lovato songs from her "dont forget" album. lol!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
19:56
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bulletins from friendster
okay friendster bulletins. i do have a friendster account there okay? its just that it seems more dead nowadays =x anw, from dayak's bulletin =D1.How old will you be for most of 2009? - just turned eighteen. ohs so slllooowww 2. Would you date someone 8 year older than you? - hahax. maybe. 3. When was the last time you talked to number 1 on your top friends in real? - talked to. hmm.. yesterday bugis shopping trip =D 4. What were you doing at 4am this morning? - sleepppping 5. Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?? - my classmate.my pbl group mate = see theng & minli 6. What movie do you really want to see right now? - TWILIGHT!! 7. Where are your siblings? - err my brother's worrrkiing 8. When's the last time you cried? - two days ago 9. If you found out you couldn't have kids, would you adopt? - yeap. maybe 10. Do you know a secret about your ex and if he/she pisses you off will you tell? - hahax. a secret will still remain a secret isnt it? 11. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? - yes. i wish. 12. Do you want kids? - yes. twinny =D a girl and boy twin! ohs so adorable =D 13. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? - yeap. daniel 14. Do you believe that every thing happens for a reason? - mmhhmm. 15. Last time you saw your parents? - haha just did? 16. Who was the last person to give you a ride somewhere? - err.. give me a ride. errr 17. What were your first thoughts this morning? - crs presentation slides! 18. Are you a jealous person? - hahax. yeap. preety much 19. The last time you slept on the floor? - hahax. idk its been quite a long time =s 20. What did you have for breakfast? - err toasted bread with nutellaaa.. 21. Who do you love? - hahax. my parents.my family.my bestiies. my close friends.etc 22. Who was the last person you called? - err amirul 23. Made a new friend? - err not really 24. Done something you swore never to do? - hahax. 25. Laughed until you cried? - lol.. rmbring about daniel maybe? or maybe about ashraf? 26. Went behind your parents back? - hahax. if there's a ghost movie trailer? 27. Met someone who changed your life? - yeap. daniel. 28. Gotten close to someone? - close in distant but still so far away and away and away =D. 29. Found out who your true friends were? - hahax yeap. 30. Hurt emotionally or physically? - none atm =D
12:04
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Twilight
I WANT TO WATCH TWILIGHT TOMORROW!okay i am watching i think. with.. Amirul =x hahax. he said he will be going off to work half day or something. so in the morning, we can watch Twilight at.. maybe West Mall? then when he goes off to work, then maybe I go school for a little while to return some dvds and books =D okay ive got nothing else to blog now. will blog again maybe later or something. so.... see ya =D
11:06
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random questions
okay i saw some random questions from sherr's blog. didnt have time to do it that time. im kinda super free now. actually im not, since i havent start on my presentation slides for crs =s oh well. will do it after this =D from sherr's blog1. What have you been doing recently? uhm. shopping.rotting at home and sleeping late every night =s 2. Do you ever turn your cell phone off? yeap. every night =D 3. What happened at 10am today? err i was getting ready to meet rohanii 4. When did you last cry? err yesterday =x 5. Believe in fate/destiny? yeapp 6. What do you need in your life now? money. and a bf if possible =x 7. Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or put up your hood? errr. usually carry umbrella 8. What's your favourite thing to do on the bed? playing my psp? 9. What bottoms are you wearing now? pants 10. What's the nicest things in your inbox? err nothing actually xD 11. Do you tend to make the relationship complicated? i dont wish for a complicated relationship. and also, i dont wish to be in one. 12. Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone? nopee 13. What was the last movie you caught? err.. high school musical 3 in theatre and twilight in movie6.net =D 14. What are you proud of? my "sunshine-ness". lol! 15. What does the oldest text message in your inbox say? err. i cant rmbr =S 16. What was the last song you sang out loud? uh stay my baby ~ miranda cosgrove 17. Do you have any nicknames? yeap. lin and little miss sunshine =D 18. What does the newest text say? err. "okay.. i think should be okay :)" - seetheng 19. What time did you go to bed last night? 1 am =x 20. Are you currently happy? yeah! 10 more days to a year older xD 21. Who gives you the best advise? linaniyana.daniel? 22. Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can? nope 23. Who did you talk to on the phone last night? no one 24. Is something bugging you now? yeap. project works that are undone? 25. Who was the last person to make you laugh? rohani and liyana =D
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
20:25
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BUGIS fun.the end.still searching
lets start with you AGAIN. smsed you at about 1040 or so. waiting and waiting and waited. no replies. so yeap. i guess this is the end. thanks to dayak who is tagging my tagboard and concerned about how im feeling. im fine now dear sweetiie. thanks so much =D im so much better after that shopping trip to BUGIS with rohani & liyana xD thanks for the day my dear girls =D okay so, i ws kinda early. reached Boon Lay control station at about 1050 or so. planned to meet rohani at 11. so okay. waited. blast songs. and suddenly I saw this guy. and he's super familiar! LOL! he is Afian. this guy whom I have known almost all my life? lol. more like Ive known him for 8 years! heck ya! 8 years! lol. from K1 all the way to P6! kewl huh? haha. oh well. i saw him and wow. i have sudden thought of him last few weeks or so, and here he is. i was looking at him. i recognise him alright. super tall now. anw, i dont think he recognise me though. lol. oh well. waited and waited for rohani. and she finally came. =D then went to withdraw some money. (more draining money! =x) oh well, took train after that. chatted all the way to BUGIS. and i was laughing non stop when Rohani told me about her incident with her white color handphone! lol!!! anw, reached Bugis, we smsed Liyana and she finishes at 2 =( but okay. we went to look around at all the shops at Bugis Junction =D and we were a look out for DRESSES ESPECIALLY! lol! ohs and i found this while going down the elevator. new look. new experience. hmm.... new look. okay im thinking of getting a new look for myself. maybe ill start kicking my heels. maybe ill start wearing flats and eyeliner and pink/bright colored dresses.. ooo... lol! anw,then we went out of Bugis Junction. and to the small shops outside. there's this white colored christmasssyy kind of tree! which is nice! and the heart! SUPER NICE!here's me and the treee =D rohani and miee with the tree. taken by some random person! lol xD hmm then.. we went to Bugis Street and went to look for dresses =D Went around there a few times. lots of shoes! lotx of clothes! but! less money =S oh yea. i got myself an eye mask from Guardian. lol. hope it cures my dark circles xD anw, rohani bought two dresses. one is a hot pink dresses and she kept asking. "do u think that dress, the pink is too hot?" lol! you just needa match it with something else so it wont be too hot! like white tudong is just right =D and the other one was... white dress. and she was like "should i buy the pink or the white? okay maybe the white." after some time, "okay maybe the pink." and again after some time, "okay okay i take white" after asking me which is better. "i think the white is better because the color looks nice =D" lol! as for me, i wanted to try buying a tube dress. but the tube dress that i like is either short or it looks. too elegant for normal wear =s so i ended up buying a red and white striped sleeveless dress with a red belt at the front. maybe next time i should get myself a red colored flat shoes =x or as for now, i can wear my red & white polka dots heels =D lol. okay after we're like done shopping. we went to look around for watches xD we went to look around for blue.green.white watches. lol. those are our favourite colors =D liyana came after some time. lol. then we talked and chatted even more. and more photos to be uploaded soon =D we went to eat at watever place of the name is. lol. then we talked while she was eating. i didnt eat. no money =x lol. talked about guys. talked about ashraf, daniel and some others =x hahax. then after she's done eating, we went to look for bracelets or so. out of which, the three of us could have in common. lol. then we went to take picture at the same white christmas tree again. but together now. 3 of us =D lol. liyana havent send me those pictures. =s then we went to find a place to sit and more picture taking. lol. then we sat at the mrt platform and take more photos =x and it was so fun! then board the train. all the way till Boon Lay. talked and planned about our next outing =D NEXT LINANIYANA OUTING : 23 DECEMBER 2008 TO IMM AND JP =Doo so fun =D lol. reached boon lay, hugged them and went off to catch for 154 =x lol. okay i really had a great fun with them. and i love my red & white stripes sleeveless dress together with a red belt =D lol! okay im so in love with dressessss! can somebody STOOPP meeeee ! lol hmm... i was wondering. will mr right ever come and find me? or should i go and look for him? hmmmmmm...
19:30
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will sms you tomorrow. will you reply? i really hope so. i do feel bad for not tellin u directly.wishing you will reply...
Monday, December 15, 2008
22:54
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expected.. but why upset?
lets start with you. idk if today is gonna be the last day im gonna blog about you.... yes today, you got to know the truth. my secret crush on you for 2 months. no i didnt need to confess it to you. eshton,thik,sherr,isaac helped. eshton, thik and isaac talked to you while me and sherr was to the toilet. i guess its better that way. at least i dont need to be afraid of what your reaction will be. to cut things short. its bad. me and u cant be together. in fact you dont want it. got to know when i came back from the toilet from thik. bad. and that look on eshton's face. bad. i acted with that smile on my face. i smile and laugh as if i was so fine with it. seriously, idk why i was doing that? eshton told me to be perfectly normal to you. yes im gonna do that. yes im gonna even accept it if starting from next term, ure gonna stop talking to me and avoid me more often. its okay. i understand ashraf....
took train from orchard. actually i was unsure what train to take home. sherr pointed out to me and was better. took same train with you, thik,esh and sherr. we stand together and the others were talking and i was smiling. again. smiling like nobody got hurt/sad. then somewhat you lost your balance and u ended up doing pull ups while holding the top railings. and u hit that couple who was sitting behind. we all laugh. including you. i laugh. but idk why the way i laugh was different from how i usually laugh. could it be that i was faking my laugh? but it sure is funny to see you lose ur balance and do that pull up... what about the couple? the guy seems pretty much angry =S lol...
everyone got off at dhoby ghaut. you joined eshton to this manga place. i continue my journey to city hall. and kept thinking about you all the way... i got lost finding for the boon lay route. lol... anw, found it at last. sat and stone while waiting for the train and blasting songs to my ears.... train to boon lay was pretty much pack. decided to drop off at clementi. tired. stoned even more in the train.
dropped at clementi. waited for 154. i was somehow pissed. no not pissed. upset. so upset that my face is just turning into so fierce looking. how i know? i stared at my reflection when bus passed by... i kept telling myself. "it was expected of him to say that norlin.. why are you still upset about it...." i cant find the reason why....
reached home. bath and cried. idk what for but i just cried. sat on the floor. stoned and tears came streaming down my cheeks.... so much... kept asking "why am i crying? i cant force him... he doesnt like me... so why? why am i crying so much eventhough i had a crush for him for only 2 months......." idk why... i still do keep ur picture.... in my phone.... idk what for.... but i just wanna keep it.....
i still dont understand..... if i already expected his answers.... why am i still being upset....? i left my blog link at my pm nick. purposely. if ure gonna read it. so be it. i guess... i should stop being little-miss-sunshiine..... because i realise... i dont deserve that name anymore......
faking laughters and smiles. i was never good in them. but now... im getting better and better each day......
19:37
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truth.truth.more truth
yesterday i slept at 1 am. =x playing psp. i really need to buy that garnier brand eye cream for dark circles and eye bags =S hahax. oh well. either i buy that or maybe.. eye mask =D hahax. or even a concealer. i always wanted to buy that ZA brand concealer. =D haha. ohs and when i wear specs, cant really see my eye bags & dark circle. thank you my specs =D lol. okay im currently lost and afraid. i still thinking of a way to tell you the truth. lost because idk how to start to tell you.. and afraid because idk what ur answers will be. how are u gonna react? how will i react when i tell u that? idk im so lost.... and afraid. thik planning to make us have time for each other to talk about it alone. as i guess, in the train. well, hope it works.okay im off now. wanna play psp till 1 or later =S see ya =D im missing you... ur laugh.. seriously i do....
Saturday, December 13, 2008
22:17
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the truth. im still thinking how the hell am i supposed to that... asked daniel and he said that i need a longer time and alone time with you. how am i supposed to that... how am i supposed to react when im alone with you telling u the truth? omg. telling the truth is so much harder.... alone time with you. how how how how how! i feel like writing you a letter. but letter, will you ever gonna reply?hmm daniel... tmr, 13 dec. exact two months to our break up. breaking up. break up. break up. break up. omg i got to stop. idk what else to blog about.. except i needa find time to tell you the truth. could it be that i meet u somewhere first on monday? like maybe we could talk about it on the train or something. ill think about it tonight.REMIND to ownself: SMS THIK,ASH,ISAAC,ESHTON : "MONDAY, 11 AM @ ORCHARD CONTROL STATION. **LATE COMERS= TREAT LUNCH FOR THE OTHERS =X TY XD. ps to ashraf: can u be the cameraman for the day?"
Friday, December 12, 2008
22:32
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a year ago
well, exactly a year ago was my first date with daniel. we watched enchanted in theatre and we took neoprints.. and it was so much fun...... okay i better stop myself. anw, idk what to do today. im still waiting for my phone to ring. either pizza hut or starbucks to call. whichever. as long i can start working and deposit those money in my draining bank =x lol. first week of holiday seems to pass. fast huh? and i havent start on my other two groupworks =S err.. probably next week. idk what else to blog. so yeap. see ya =D
13:28
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okay my classmates are having the bbq now. and im so so sad i didnt get to go. its okay. second entry of the day. idk what else to say except im very happy because because LINANIYANA ARE GONNA MEET UP THIS 18 DECEMBER!!! YAY. WE'RE GONNA GO WATCH TWILIGHT. AND MAYBE GO BUGIS LOOK FOR DRESSES AND ALSO WE'RE GONNA BUY SOMETHING THAT THE THREE OF US HAVE BUT DIFFERENT COLOR. OMG ITS SO GONNA BE MUCH FUN! SO CHAOTIC AND NOISY AND LOTS OF PICTURE TAKING! OMG ITS SO FUN!!! XDokay i better stop =x what am i doing?? im supposed to like go to school and discuss my pbl and my crs and my IDEAs =x and here i am going shopping =x haha. oh well. its not everyday the three of us get to go out okay?? last time the three of us met was on my 17th birthday. the day itself. we took neoprints. again our next meeting. WE MUST TAKE NEOPRINTS! GIRLS DAY OUTT RAWWKKKKSSS XD for now, lets look forward to.. 15 dec. IDEAs shopping day. okay i needa save money for that girls day out =D aite. i wanna try do my crs research or something. lol. see ya =D eventhough its a little rushed; let me know that u'll keep in touch; if you dont it'll hurt too much; stay my baby ~miranda cosgrove
that somewhat reminds me of you. i know its gonna be a little rush if im gonna tell you the truth. but even so, i really want u to still talk to me. cause if you dont, it will hurt me real bad. so yeap. gonna meet u on monday. please dont repel anymore.....
Thursday, December 11, 2008
20:50
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26 - 11 = 15 more days to a year older
yeap. 15 more days to be a year older. 18. hmm i wonder, is being EIGHTEEN gonna make you any different from being 17? probably not for me. my parents are still gonna treat me like im 17 even though im 18. maybe a little freedom here and there but sms a little too much. the good thing is at least they did allow me to work even after the holidays. so okay, at least thats something. talking about working. i guess daniel is right. he told me that i wont survive in Starbucks. why? because I have no freaking idea what are the different type of coffee, how they serve and such. since well, i havent been to starbucks before. okay, going to the starbucks is one thing. i can still go there i guess, maybe tmr or something? ill just see how. then.. learning about those coffees. okay i went to the starbucks website and found they have quite alot of variety. i guess i have to learn and really try to survive and show it to daniel that i really can survive! its not fair to how he always think i can survive and always see low of me. idiot. ookay fine i know he's WAY better in everything. but he should at least given me a chance to learn and adapt.... urgh read his blog and got super irritated! nvm i cant blog about that.hmm oh yeah! twilight is on theatre on 18 dec. which i planned to watch again! together with rohani and liyana. missing them much much! ohs and yesterday, i went out with liyana right? and i went to the pasar malam at JP. and i didnt know there is this YELLOW FLUFF CANDY!!! lol. i bought it of course xD hmm today i have no idea what to do. im just have to wait for my phone to ring and hope its starbucks. other than waiting for phone calls, im also waiting for DOMO to finish downloading. DOMO = Dream Of Mirror Online. lol. some random game that i feel like playing. other than that i have nothing to do. actually i already know what im supposed to do for crs. but i dont feel like doing. i guess thats all... see ya. oh yeah didnt get to blog about this. i just rmbred about it. last two days, i chatted with thik. and we talked about you. and he suggests that i should tell you the truth. so we tried "Acting" it out. thik being you. he said the "acting" was okay. so im like okay.. then he said i must tell you face-to-face. then im like.. WHAT??? face-to-face. how the hell am i supposed to do that? then thik came out with "you know one day we have to meet up for IDEAs. maybe i ask the others to come late, then u and him can tlak about it." then im like -.- errr.. waaa!! i cant do that!!! but i need to tell him the truth. i know i should think about your side too. but at least i have gotten my message accross to you. face to face??? urghh... gonna meet up for IDEAs this coming monday. i still havent tell my parents im going orchard =x should i ask u and eshton meet up first? idk... idk. idk. idk how am i supposed to tell you. im missing you every second......
yesterday you said you couldnt find any arguments. then i said "this topic is harder than i thought" then you replied "hell ya" and idk why i was smiling when u said that. lol. such small things can make me smile or laugh.... urgh.. telling u the truth is gonna be much harder than i thought.......
11:41
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can i have that SB JOB please?
wheee~~ i had a blast today! suprisingly, i went to sms dad in the morning and ask him if I could go out to JP ALONE to find myself a job. and he said CAN! omg can u believe it? lol! so I was pretty happy myself. got ready and went to JP. in the bus tried calling Rohani. she said she got meeting. then called Liyana instead. she said she not going out but when i asked her if she could accompany me find a job at JP, she said OKAY! uwaah! haha. but she will come by at 12. so i reached JP, at 11 plus. and my phone went dead halfway -.- super irritating! i ended up finding public phones. thank GOD there are alot there! called dad and said my phone went dead. and then called liyana, she told me to meet her infront of Coffee Bean. went to look around at the shops for part time. tried BATA & JOHn Little. NONE! oh well. then walked all the way till top floor of JP. then after that stopped by at MCdonald, grab myself a iced milo. sat and stone till near 12. then walked to infront coffee bean and waited for liyana. she came after some time. we went to the basement floor to take her developed pictures. then we went to try to quite a lot of places. like watsons, famous amos etc. i tried applied for Pizza Hut. which like okay I guess. even after holidays, i probably will work. probably wed and thurs afternoon and weekends too. oh well. then went to look around and went to the new buildings at JP. which is SUPER HUGE! and it have this "town area" kind of environment. which is so cool! its like SUPER BIG okay! lol. then walked around and tried applying for StarBucks. and idk why but I REALLY WANT THAT JOB! so yeah after that, looked around some more at swens and such. ended up having lunch at Long John. xD then we went to look around. not looking for anymore jobs. we just went to look around at the shops! lol. xD there's HARRIS, and oh ARTBOX! and there's this blue diary which i really wanna buy from there!!! and there are quite A FEW SHOE SHOPS! which i wil try to buy from them? =x hahax okay i better stop buying shoes. its really killing my money =x okay. i better stop blogging. im having online discussion for crs. yes now talking with you. thik went to have his dinner. isaac went missing. then now im asking you for ur arguements. and u have no idea. red colored fonts.... okay i better stop.hmm aite im stuck with stay my baby- miranda cosgrove =x will copy the lyrics soon. xD oh well. gotta help them with their arguements.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
20:36
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breaking up is even harder
second blog of the day. shit my head hurts after crying so much. read dan's blog and well, he linked to our old blog. our miie-n-hiim.bs.com blog..... idk why but i went to click on it. seeing the skin itself could make me cry. and its even worst when i read the content. idk what makes me do it but i ended up reading it. only for the sept and oct months. in there, there's the word dear everywhere. then there's the time when we went on separate ways for two days and dan wrote something there which until now, it never fails to make me cry. why am i not strong to really stop myself from crying everytime i rmbred of danielin? why am i feeling like crying everytime i look outside my house and into the park that we went for our first date, our walks from school, the little pathway that we walked from school beside Jurong town, or everytime when i look at JSS as my bus pass by.... all reminds me of daniel and i cant control myself not to cry. i thought being in a relationship is hard. but break ups are even worst. its been nearly 2 month since we broke up.... 2 months. what is 2 months compared to 3 years of memories? i can considered myself having a downhill life after i broke up with daniel. things didnt went my way. then there was you. u were fine in the beginning. but now. repel repel and more repel..... what did i do to deserve all this? i got used by 5 guys. what a pathetic life. all i ever wanted from you, ashraf, is for you to understand how i feel...... i feel like i just wanna tell u the truth. get it over with. but what happens after that? im sure ure just gonna keep a further distance.... should i start thinking positive and think that ure not gonna go further away? heck no. im never that kind of person......
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
14:17
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