idk if today is gonna be the last day im gonna blog about you.... yes today, you got to know the truth. my secret crush on you for 2 months. no i didnt need to confess it to you. eshton,thik,sherr,isaac helped. eshton, thik and isaac talked to you while me and sherr was to the toilet. i guess its better that way. at least i dont need to be afraid of what your reaction will be. to cut things short. its bad. me and u cant be together. in fact you dont want it. got to know when i came back from the toilet from thik. bad. and that look on eshton's face. bad. i acted with that smile on my face. i smile and laugh as if i was so fine with it. seriously, idk why i was doing that? eshton told me to be perfectly normal to you. yes im gonna do that. yes im gonna even accept it if starting from next term, ure gonna stop talking to me and avoid me more often. its okay. i understand ashraf....

took train from orchard. actually i was unsure what train to take home. sherr pointed out to me and was better. took same train with you, thik,esh and sherr. we stand together and the others were talking and i was smiling. again. smiling like nobody got hurt/sad. then somewhat you lost your balance and u ended up doing pull ups while holding the top railings. and u hit that couple who was sitting behind. we all laugh. including you. i laugh. but idk why the way i laugh was different from how i usually laugh. could it be that i was faking my laugh? but it sure is funny to see you lose ur balance and do that pull up... what about the couple? the guy seems pretty much angry =S lol...

everyone got off at dhoby ghaut. you joined eshton to this manga place. i continue my journey to city hall. and kept thinking about you all the way... i got lost finding for the boon lay route. lol... anw, found it at last. sat and stone while waiting for the train and blasting songs to my ears.... train to boon lay was pretty much pack. decided to drop off at clementi. tired. stoned even more in the train.

dropped at clementi. waited for 154. i was somehow pissed. no not pissed. upset. so upset that my face is just turning into so fierce looking. how i know? i stared at my reflection when bus passed by... i kept telling myself. "it was expected of him to say that norlin.. why are you still upset about it...." i cant find the reason why....

reached home. bath and cried. idk what for but i just cried. sat on the floor. stoned and tears came streaming down my cheeks.... so much... kept asking "why am i crying? i cant force him... he doesnt like me... so why? why am i crying so much eventhough i had a crush for him for only 2 months......." idk why... i still do keep ur picture.... in my phone.... idk what for.... but i just wanna keep it.....

i still dont understand..... if i already expected his answers.... why am i still being upset....? i left my blog link at my pm nick. purposely. if ure gonna read it. so be it. i guess... i should stop being little-miss-sunshiine..... because i realise... i dont deserve that name anymore......

faking laughters and smiles. i was never good in them. but now... im getting better and better each day......