Third

I was glad im going to feeling slightly better in the morning after keep telling myself that im not going to argue with you today...
And it did went great.

You text in th morning
You txt during ur lunch/break/dinner
You even called me after u finished work..

And i am glad to hear ur voice..
I didnt know hearing ur voice could make me cry....
I miss you so much....

And u went msn and talked to me..
And u told me something that changed my feelings...

Msian girls there are flirting with you and u told me u are ignoring them...
But i do know u very well. I know ur nature..
If people talk, ull reply and there goes the "ignoring" part..

But now the thing is... Ive been together with u long enuf to trust u very much.
But unfortunately... I dont trust those girls...
Girls if u layan.. Will menjadi2.....

And so i told u what i truly felt...
And u just reply.. "okay syg. Love u syg...."
That seriously isnt what im looking for.... I was hoping u qud pujuk me and tell me everything will be okay..
But i cant ask u to do that because ure tired and u have work tmr.....
I dont want to be an assed gf today...

So now im crying all alone....
You sleeping peacefully bcox ure tired....
And again i think ill be up till 2 or so crying....

Haish and i thought i cud sleep earlier than yday..
8am lessons later and idk how i will survive...

Haish.... Please come back soon..............
Monday, November 8, 2010 01:07 back to top?

Second night

Today is the second night and its 124am right now.
I cant sleep....

Argued with you abt somethings today because im very mad at you. The things you said are all so insensitive to me.
Youre not like that. I know u are..
And im still hating the fact that u have to be there...

When i smsed.. I was hoping u wud ask how was my day. How was my work?
U didnt....
There wasnt anyone to call me on my way home from work just now....
Ufinish late and i stayed up till now hoping i cud sms u...
But ended up we argued and ure tired and sleepy...

Right now i wish u knew what im feeling. I wish u understand.. And i wish u wud feel this way too...

Gdnite...
Im gonna stone and cry even more.
Eyebags i really dc abt u....
Sunday, November 7, 2010 01:23 back to top?

the first night

blog's been dead for quite sometime now i realised.
was just plain lazy.

work(FA) + work(SPLIB) + School + Bf + Family + Fyp + Myself = no time = lazy to blog = bad chest pains.

darling has to go KL for 10 days for work.
i got to know it yesterday. after i had lunch with him at Ion....
he told me he have to go and i cry instantly...
i suddenly felt like it was another break up i had 1 year 9 months ago.
that uncontrolled tears.

i couldnt stop myself.
i was mad. angry with him.
he could just say no and no one can force him.
but he said its going to be a good experience for him. and his managers have booked everything for him.....
really, he can just say no.

so i was mad.
went to the library to slack while waiting for the stupid assembly with thik and nur.
and all i did was, sitting at one corner and cry non stop....
it hurts. idk why. but it hurts me so badly.

went to the assembly...
purely waste of time? he called, he wants to meet me after that.
he finished work early. but all i wanted to do was for him to change his mind.

ate free dinner with thik and ash at fc5 and he came to had dinner with us too.
i was mad. but i cant be mad at him. knowing there is no way i can stop him from going. and there is no way that i can stay mad at him always. he still have to go anyway... nothing can make him change his mind.

took bus home with him. i was mad at him.
i said mean things. i said... "why dont u just stay there forever and never come back..." and he cried.... i felt bad. i was angry. but i was so upset with myself for seeing him cry....

reached clementi, took 154...
that was when i just break down while he hold me in his arms...
i couldnt stop it... i really didnt want him to go...
i didnt want to be lonely..... i dont want to have a day without him.......

i passed him my fav yellow watch... exchange our rings...
his ring is too big for me... so what i did was to put it into my necklace...
he gave me his perfume... i exchanged with mine....

i didnt want the night to end yesterday.
we hugged.... and it feels so good... there was nth i could do..
but to pray for his safety....

today he flew off to Kl..
he smsed me at 21:28..
and the flight is 50 mins or so...

im gonna wait.
im gonna sleep with tears in my eyes...
im gonna have eyebags every morning.
im gonna have swollen eyes everyday...
but really.. i dont care.....

omg.......
and now our fav song is on my itunes.....
i cant stop crying...... shit i wish i could talk to someone..............
Friday, November 5, 2010 21:49 back to top?