phew. finally got myself a new blog.
its gonna be weird blogging alone all over again. but well, i guess, ill get used to it.

lets start with an introduction.
miss-sunshiine. yes i want to be her. i want to be the one who put smiles on everyone's face. i used to be her last time. but after what happened last monday,i somehow couldnt be her.
i lost my appetite. i ate so little. cried myself to sleep. and i just didnt have the strength to smile at all.
i kept thinking about him. infact, i find it hard to believe everything. well, it was not my decision. and i couldnt stop him from doing so. so i guess, i have to start moving on.
i know ive cried lesser now. gratz to myself as i didnt cry yesterday. as for today,
i wanted to cry when i put on my mp3. remebering all those songs we shared together.
but no. i didnt cry. =)) well, i guess im happy as to still be his friend. we chatted almost every night. talking like how friends do. and i told him about everything that happened in class. well, i hope he doesnt mind =x
met up with him yesterday. to pass him our last neoprints. purposely gave him one extra. and i'm not so sure whether he realises it or not. but i actually did gave him two of my favourite photos. the "evil" and "omg". i wanted both. but nah. i want him to keep it =D at times, i do feel miserable. i wanted to cry. but i just couldnt do it anymore. and also, once i starts. i just cant stop. so might as well, i dont start. xD
one thing is for sure. i suck at pretending. i mean seriously. im never a good actor like he did. putting a mask for 3 years. as for me, i tried to be miss sunshiine all over again. but i just cant seem to do it. i love wearing heels and such. but for the past one week, i just wore anything that i first see. i dont bother about myself. blisters came. but it didnt hurt me as much as my heart break. well, heartbreak really sucks. and i hate it. memories are even worst. i cant seem to forget it. he did told me before that i dont have to forget them. i just have to get used to it as something new that i have to do. hard to do it but yeah im trying.
i wish to see him smile often though. he puts that -.- face everytime i sees him. probably he's tired.
well, i better stop blabbering about him and starts crying.

so, as for now. im gonna blog about my life in school and such. as from monday onwards, im gonna start wearing heels. heels never fail to make me happy xD and im gotta try to stop pretending =x im gonna be miss sunshiine. making everyone smile in my presence. including, him. =))
well i guess thats all for now ya? will soon open the blog to other friends. see ya.
Saturday, October 18, 2008 16:09 back to top?