miss-sunshiine

testing one two three to my blog from my phone

2011-10-24T00:29:00.001+08:00

life as it is.

2011-10-20T23:23:00.001+08:00

i have decided to make my blog alive once again.
been so long since ive updated. i promise to update as often as I can :D

life's been great since I last updated.
currently an allied educator at shuqun primary. and ive been here for a months plus.
loving the things there as it is. with food and the people there. the other aeds.

boyfriend has been great.
as always. we try as much as we can to spend time with each other.
as now im not as free like how i used to be. my time are more occupied with stuffs like the things to prepare for lessons.
and im in school from 9 to 5 and all.

my daily routine is basically:
wake up
go to school
prepare for lesson --- (i dont have to this anymore cause my lesson finish! )
go for lesson
go for lunch
mark papers
fbing
go home
rest
eat
watch tv
do a lil bit of raiinbowkrafts if needed.
then LoLing till late
tired
sleep.

and the same thing goes everyday.
hmm. im still a gamer chic :D
i still love LoL-ing :D

andd im having bad eyebags.
and i have no idea how to get rid of it because i realised it gets worst and worst each day.
haha!

and i love how my hair grows . its getting longer and wavier :D

and i think i lose weight. haha!

oh wells.

im glad to have most of my dreams to come true.

being a teacher, get my own desk, a full time job, an awesome pay.

next goal : TUNANG NEXT YEAR, 30 JUNE 2012

yeap. my parents know about it. and i told them. like finally.

and well they seem happy to hear about it.

they do seem to love my boyfriend. as much as I do :D

brings him to most of my family-eat-out-birthday-events too :D

the recent one was on my first pay, (which was double pay, mind you) to celebrate ayah birthday.

we ate at seoul garden @ Clementi and he drove on that day.

i even make my awesomely transitions specs on that day and my darling was there to see i chose my frame. it was awesome.

and we also planned our tunang already. the how many dulangs, and what to buy etc.

exciting.

looking forward to the day <3

im gonna LoL. gonna keep updating kay :)
gdnite.

xoxo

2011-05-17T20:50:00.002+08:00

been MIA for a months plus.

last updated was 10April

a lot of things happened.

well my Science Centre Job ended unexpectedly.

and i got a job as software tester.

started last week, last tuesday to be exact;; and yesterday was my last day.

the worst job ever.

i dont see any future in that job at all.

one thing's good, allied educator has asked me to send in my documents and all

so all i have to do is wait for two weeks till i get a reply from them.

really hoping for that job.

i dont see myself doing other jobs except teaching.

did a lot of gaming too. lots of LoL-ing after my job at the Science Centre

same old routine. wakes up late, play a game or two, bath, goes out, comes back, LOL-ing somemore, then rest, after isyak, LOL till late.

pretty much i have no other life.

boyfriends great. boyfriends doing good.

argued about his job and the future a lot nowadays.

so i decided to just keep a shut on those both things.

he got his promotion.

alhamdullilah. wasnt really happy but at least i didnt argue about it.

so yeah he knows i wasnt happy. but what can he do anw.

he knows "you never support my job" thats according to him

i guess its true?

oh well i dont know, really.

i just cant support him

yeah call me a bad gf. what to do.

oh well

wanted::

- that wallet.

- garnier products!

- gel eyeliner

-shoes/clothes D:

-allied educator!-- the only one that i want, so badly!

- wrapping paper!-- lols for my noticeboards! :D

- spend more time with bf

- lots of pictures on grad day! 24may! looking forward!!

- money! :XX

- a proper 21yo life i wish.

- long perm hair!

--- thats all for now i guess :O

2011-04-10T21:57:00.003+08:00

i think i need to lose ~~some~~ weight

darling allow me to, but he doesnt want me to skip meals.

hmm.

work starts at 2pm tmr.

shud i go for a run tmr morning?

if i can wake up that is

haish. i miss my boyfriend. very the much.

2011-04-07T19:56:00.000+08:00

all i ever wanted to was the best for the both of us.
but we ended up arguing even more than ever and also him thinking that this relationship is all about me.

ouch.

it hurts.

need to think

2011-04-03T21:40:00.003+08:00

i think im just gonna let it all out.

whats bugging me these days, just my inner thoughts that are so irritating and annoying

first up;

i dont wanna grow up.

i dont like to work. i wanna school like how i did. i want NIE so badly :(

i want to go school and having to wake up early and sometimes be late for class.

didnt realise i miss school so much, eh.

then now, im starting to work and all, which starts tmr at the Science Centre

its gonna be a month kind of thing. and this whole month, also means i cant meet boyfriend.

irritating as it is.

i cant go out on weekends with my boyfriend. with my parents like that and all.

pretty much feel like i have no life.

so annoying to see people on fb posting up their pictures with the other half and i cant even meet my other half so often, and its so irritating.

i dont know why im feeling like this but not boyfriend.

[well i told him about this and he said he did, but its just that he didnt say anything about it because he knows there is nothing that he can do. alright, point taken. ]

thenn the problem with me not having to meet my boyfriend cause we are both working. and he working shift and all. well at least he said somedays that he is not working, he will be sending me home and all, so yeah. okay~

im just afraid if we are drifting apart. him with his work and mine working too. :(
thenn if i never work, i wont have money. and i would never start saving.

seriously, i do wanna start saving. for the future, for our engagement this year. but im like so lost?

im still waiting for NIE. its been nearly a month plus. & then i also wanna get a full time job. if i gave up on NIE now, later ill regret, because its been only a month plus :/ then if i keep thinking of NIE then wait wait wait then never get, there goes my time wasted.

i dont like to work contract jobs. not one month kind of thing. although i gain a lot of experience with the different kind of jobs, but its like as if im job hopping. its really not what i want.

the point is.

i want NIE but i also wanna start saving money fast. i really have no idea if that is even possible?

so the conclusion to this is that, ill do this Science Centre job and then ill just save whatever i can, whatever possible, and at the end of the month, i will finish my temp event assistant job and also if by then, NIE havent reply yet, then so be it. i will be officially give up and find a full time job.

then can start saving properly for engagement.

i really wanna get engage this year, on my 21st birthday. im not getting any younger.

(i look young but im not, :/)

will be heartbreaking if i didnt get to NIE but either which, at least I could save up for the engagement :) win-win

so whats next.

i keep seeing pregnant or young couples with little toddlers around, and keep imagining myself being one. a mother, a wife. a young one. :D

imagining myself with my junior. starting as a baby. with lots of cute dresses (which i saw at Kiddy Palace, while finding present for my niece birthday)

and cute little shirts like "i love mummy" that kind. such adorable sweetheart.

then they grow a little older. when they just starting to walk. and its like so cute. im gonna get them little dresses. with nice shoes. and during hari raya, can u imagine, me and my husband (insyaallah, my current boyfriend, ridzman) and our little girl/little boy.

then the girl wear baju kurong and starting to walk that kind. awww~

or our little boy, wearing the songkok. how cute!

omg i can imagine it so much now.

snap snap. lets back to reality. i dont know why im thinking about all this, am i like ready for it? t be a wife, to be a mother? (well besides the point that i still dont know how to cook :x but i know how to do other housework kay! like ironing, washing the clothes and all, just that i dont wanna do,only :X)

neways, yeah. i pity my boyfriend sometime.its like he is 4 years older than me, and its like i know he is ready to be a father. to have his own child. (besides the point that not financially stable yet,)

there was just this one time, we went to eat. then we saw this young married couple with a cute little girl, i think. and ridzman kept entertaining the baby. with those kind of actions that makes a baby would smile or laugh? its like he is good with kids. he really is.

and im sure he will be a very good dad. otherwise, im not sure if i will be a good mum?

one thing for sure, i wont control my kids like how ive been controlled by my own parents. ~~feels like prison~~

so yeah, i feel that boyfriend, has to wait for me. its like he shud be married now! and he should be a father now, like my brother? he got married when he is 24? isnt that ridzman's age now? :(

sorry baby. sorry that u have to wait for me. to settle down and all. i havent even get a proper job. shucks. i feel miserable than ever :(

then it comes to a point that im thinking about the life me and my husband (as again, insyaallah, my current boyfriend, ridzman) will have. him with working shifts? i dont like him working shifts. i dont like at all. we talked about this before, and we came to a compromise that one weekday off and one weekend off. but i dont think thats enuf, for me or for our children.

(he did made his point saying that if he works office hour jobs, that means he wont have time for me now, well okay. understand.)

but the future? i want him to be here for me and the children on the weekends. its family day on weekend. we can go out grocerry shopping or go to our in-laws? isnt that nice?

he grew up in a family that works shifts, his mum and dad. but mine isnt, my parents are always here. ~~(that explains why my life feels like prison)~~

i grew up in time when i always go out with my parents on weekends. i wanna do that in the future with my own husband. stay in bed till late, just the both of us, going out together. and all.

i really want him to change job in the future, ill help him find an office hour job. for the both of us. for the family. (but he is just so stubborn :X) and i dont want him to work as a salesperson till the end of time or something? its just not right. he is married, he couldnt be selling clothes all his life right? :(

i think thats basically all that?

he got me a little annoyed in the afternoon. took picture with some girl just because today is her last day at work. chinese not so bad u know. but malay -.-

how can i not be jealous? who cares if its her last day. sorry i dont. he could have just said "no ty."

im trying my best to be like i used to be last time. doing anything to make this work.

doing anything that i can to be like how we used to be, way back before he works at RWS, much more before he ORD.

whenever i walked infront of the watch shop at JP2, it reminds me of something.

"the time when boyfriend has this thingy at the Singapore Discovery Centre. and he said that we could meet that day during his lunch? so i think i skipped lesson on that day? if im not wrong :X its like the early month of our relationship i think. before he ord, which is before april. so its somewhere between feb and march? which is like 2 years ago? :O whaaa.

anyways. i rmbred going to the watch job at jp, and got him a watch. i once asked him if he ever wore a watch but yada yada yada. (cant remember that little details) so i went to jpt somewhere in the afternoon, and got him a watch. i think i can roughly rmbr how it looks like. :X so i bought him a watch and went to Japan home and bought a cute diy gift box.

i found directions to the Singapore Discovery Centre. and i was like a bit scared when i took that bus because there are like so many banglas :X but im like, its okay i wanna meet boyfriend. i wanna pass him the watch. thank god there was this makcik beside me, waiting for the same bus also, and she told me the bus is always late, soo yada yada yada, little details.

got the bus, finally and sat behind the makcik and i asked her, this bus go to SDC? and she said yea, just two-three bustop after her stop. so yeah. inside the bus, i transfered his watch to the gift box that i bought at Japan Home. and looked out for my stop.

so yeah i stopped and met him at the traffic light or something and we walked to the nearest Burger King. and i think only that day he started to realise that i dont eat burger, but instead i ate hershey pie instead. soo we talked and its like, waaa, feels like we are young kids falling in love. lols!

so i remembered, after he is done with his food, i asked him to close his eyes and puts the gift box on his hand. he opened it up and he was kinda suprised?

awww i rmbr those days so much by heart. and it felt like as if those things happened just yesterday. "

i want things to be like how we used to be. spending the day. you bring me to explore singapore. i miss those days. really. i miss those days when we were still shy with each other. those "young" days when we first fall in love with each other. it was just so.. calm...

the first time we met, at Jurong east, the last few cabins towards Boon Lay? i waited for him after my fundamental electronics exam/lab test. scary much. it felt so fresh in my head! when we first saw each other, its like we were first shy but we started talking, so its like we instantly clicked.

we ate at banquet and infront of the jewellery shop, idk what. he hold my hands. and whenever i walked pass there, i keep seeing the reflection of us when we held hands.

oh man why am i being so emo.... :(

i miss him so badly.

im still 20 and its only april. i have 8 months to turning 21.

and im thinking about married and all. maybe im just too free.

i think i just saw the girl that took picture with boyfriend. i havent see it with her yet. but i can imagine. i think she is the one. im feeling so jealous :( im feeling so miserable. haish.

first gif

2011-04-01T19:18:00.002+08:00

so cool eh. my first gif of the pictures of myself.

seriously. i dont look 21 :O

updated

2011-03-31T21:40:00.002+08:00

Havent be updating for quite a long time, eh.

well here are just some random updates.

1) i finished schooling at SP

-- diploma awarded in Information Communication Technology

-- graduation ceremony is at 24th may 2011 @ 0930

2) been spending a lot of my time with LOL -- League of Legends

3) did some relief teaching at Lakeside Primary

4) worked for two weeks at Turbine Overhaul Services

-- hates to wake up super early just to catch the transport // thank GOD the contract ended early

5) starting to work at Singapore Science Centre as Temp Event Assistant starting on April 4th

6) sleeps on my own now & managing my room very well

7) still in love with yellow like forever

8) loves doing word search every night before going to sleep

9) still having problems with bf sometime, due to unforeseen circumstances -- hah like real eh.

10) still and always will, love md noor ridzman :) -- 2years2mths = 26 months :D

tonight

2011-03-31T20:46:00.001+08:00

things to do tonight
~~1) clean up raiinbowkrafts stuffs~~
~~2) clean up working table~~
~~3) clean up dressing table~~
4) update blog
5) LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!

k bye.

im back

2011-03-30T23:24:00.004+08:00

to my boyfriend; ridzman.

from the first time we met, i doubt it will work by any chance. its blind date anyway. we met online and we just see how it goes.

time passes and then there was our first year together. had problems in between but thats just part of the relationship.

and again, second year came. it is like a dream come true. blind/online date/relationship could last this long.

but hey, here are the things that meant to say.
im sorry for all the things that ive done that hurt you. you know i dont meant to do that on purpose. certain things happened.

im sorry for not being a perfect gf. i know i wud never will be one. nobody's perfect

sorry for all the arguments we had.

i miss those days where i can spend the whole day with you. by the beach or going sight seeing and keep complaining about the hot weather or having blisters cause of wearing heels or having long bus rides with you.

i miss having to argue with you and keep being stubborn even though ure right and im wrong. how those arguments always ended so fast.

but now.

our arguments gets longer and longer each time. it doesnt end very fast now. and it isnt forgotten very fast too. i know i have been in the wrong for involving the third party in our relationship. and i know ive been worst.

i know no one could tahan me like you do. and i thankful for that. sometimes i think i took u for granted. im really sorry ridzman.

all i want and hope now we could really be like how it is 2 years and 1 month back.

when we had our first movie together at the Cathay, watching My bloody valentine 3D,

having our lunch at long john silver at Plaza Singapura. and never ever thought of the future at all, all we did then was just enjoying ourselves.

i remember those days by heart.

our 6 months anniversary, we went to Marina Barrage and we sort of like celebrated ur birthday there. having small picnic and we took this picture with the skyline behind us. we took so many shots just to have the skyline really in the middle. it was the best of time whenever im with you..

i miss you so badly...

i wish i could make things right for you again now..

i wish for more future outings/dates with you...

i love you.

always will and forever...

RIIDZLIIN

28 JANUARY 2009

2011-01-29T20:45:00.002+08:00

spinnovex over but not my project apparently.
which totally sucks.

last term.
last exam on 24feb.
its just so fast :(

office blous
jeggings
denim jacket

spinnovex

2011-01-05T23:03:00.002+08:00

spinnovex week. its only day two
"official" start of the open house starts tmr. bleh.
very tired.

sp care handling over event.
fun :] hang out with the usuals (minli,isaac,karthik & ash) for lunch at mcd.
every laughters i had with them, i started thinking.. i might not see them again after february and thinking about it makes me sad!

really guys.
i do hope we could be friends always.

happy 2011

2010-12-31T23:44:00.002+08:00

well i doubt anyone reads my blog anyway.

been rather busy with raiinbowkrafts.
thanks to the $1 sales.

its new year eve's and i got to spend it with darling a while just now.
went work today after 1o days of not working!

school gonna starts again next week.
a week of spinnovex and serious said my fyp not done yet. lols.

well i had a wonderful birthday last week, pretty slow to update about it, so yea.

my new year resolution(or more like 2011 goals):
get a full time job.
spend less money on shoes.
save more.
have more friends.
get engaged.
lose fats? (i hope :X)

20th Birthday

2010-12-26T22:02:00.003+08:00

I had the most wonderful birthday today!
lost of eating and best of all, a day where i could actually spend time with darling too!

had Secret Recipe at Imm in the morning with my parents and even though i ate some herb thingy with rice, i could always have room for icecream!

secret recipe cakes are worth looking at!
and i even bought one too! :D
chocolate indulgence. yum!

went to take bus to woodlands after that.
pictures in the album here: here

ate some food at woodlands and indeed i am very full!
but hey i had a wonderful birthday!

thanks to:
-- smses
darling, sms at 00:01
karthik, sms at 00:09
fauzi, sms at 02:01
babylove's mum, sms at 06:17
cik milah, sms at 08:50
yew minli, sms at 10:43
rohanii, sms at 11:05
ashraf, sms at 17:15

--facebook

thanks all <3

not yet

2010-12-25T23:06:00.002+08:00

not officially yet.
my official birthday will be in 53 mins more?
lols.

but hey i celebrated advance birthday with my brother's family today.
he ordered, kfcs && golden pillow && daddy bought log cake! durian log cake!
durian log cake = heavenly!

its like the cream is mixd with durian flavour
and the sponge cake, (YELLOW) with durian flavour
& the middle, wow, like durian fudge or something like that.
seriously, its the best thing i have ever tasted!

as for presents:
- charles and keith wallet & perfume from brother's family :D
- mickey and minnie mouse cup from kak misah
- coin box from sis's mum

im excited for tomorrow!
gonna have lunch with darling and parents at Secret Recipe! yum! <3
then going to woodlands to have lunch with darling's parents :D
excited to the max!

sometimes

2010-12-24T23:06:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish i have a group of girl friends that would ask me out.
or just one girl friend to tell everything out and go out for lunches and really have fun..?

i do really want to have a friend.
not that i dont have any.
i do. rohani and anna.
well,
rohani -- working full time and i cant spend time with her much nowadays.
anna -- well, she's somewhere at the other side of the world.

well, thats why i always envy when my boyfriend got to have more friends
i dont have that much of a friend network.
other than school. well my cca sucks.
work..? well not really that close?

sometimes its like im just too anti social.
i dont know who to make friends with.
i dont know how to secure the friendship..
but im so afraid of losing a friendship.

and you cant rely to your bf always.
im sure he needs his life too....
but me, in my position, i feel such a loner without my bf.
because i got no one else (well, other than my parents) to talk to, to go out with, to window shopping with....

i feel so down right now...
i do want to make friends but i dont know how....

i hope being 20 makes me friendlier?
i see all those girls that goes out with their friends and such and i feel sad/downright demoralised...?
and no one can understand how i am now, except my bf & rohani.
strict parents. no night life -- by means go out for dinner or such
be back home by 5 that kind of thing..

will a new friend accept me the way i am?
or will she finds me boring and walks away...

very the boring

2010-12-24T22:55:00.003+08:00

i am very the bored.

played a little of blackshot and i realised im beginning to suck at it again :S
i dont feel like doing fyp.
i feel like chatting with someone but there's no one for me to chat with!

well i managed to survive a day at home.
lots of sleeping, i must say.
did a little of fyp.
and sleep and had kinder bueno for lunch? :O

well excited for sunday :D
and maybe i shall slowly start doing my fyp or revamped raiinbowkrafts.

three more days.

2010-12-23T22:23:00.004+08:00

im going to be twenty in three more days.
okay seriously its very fast. i remembered last year i started counting down the days like a week more or something like that.
but hey i am excited!

three more days!
- where i turn twenty! (like finally,)

a nobody, not a teen nor an adult.

thanks love for telling me that. but hey, we both are gonna be the same :D
im 20 & ure 24 XD

- presents! haha!
okay who doesnt like presents right? mummy and daddy got my presents like a few weeks ago? lols.

daddy: Samsung Galaxy S!
-- if iphone 5 comes out, then "hi to iphone 5 and bye to SGS!" :D
mummy: charles and keith handbag! :D

- birthday treats!
my plan on sunday is:
-- lunch with MY mum and daddy with darling @ JP
-- another lunch with DARLING's parents @ WOODLANDS
can't wait. excited and missing my babylove dearly

as for today, i thought of treating myself to a nice pair of heels.

like superbly nice yellow heels but unfortunately I CANT FIND ONE!

and i spent like 2 hours roaming around JP ALONE! looking for a nice heels.

seriously i so need to go somewhere else to look for shoes.

JP doesnt have any more nice shoes :(

and most importantly, a friend to go shopping with is much appreciated/fun!

i did went to look around for a nice pair of black heels.

like really high ones. but sad some doesnt have my sizes!

seriously what a wrong day to go shopping!

tomorrow im planning to stay at home and rot.

planning to do up some new sales for raiinbowkrafts.

perhaps pre-xmas/birthday sales? lols.

oh and now my days are fill with project works and more sewing & reading becoming Scarlett

well going off now.

gonna revamped my raiinbowkrafts layout too.

i wonder....

will i have more freedom and more girl friends when im turning 20?

i wish.......

GEE GEE GEE GEE BABY BABY BABY

2010-12-18T22:33:00.003+08:00

im officially mad.
ive been making myself addicted with gee ever since when i wanted to left after an hour of karaoke with darling and the song came out suddenly.
well thanks im madly in love with it seriously!

they are all so pretty la!
i wish i have body and legs like that!
hmm i wonder does eating less helps to make my tummy flatter?
i want a flatter tummyyyyy!!

anw two days have passed!
a week more till my birthday!
&& i really cant wait :D

two days of working with long queue of customers at famous amos!
with lots of gift sets.
phew. it is tiring indeed!

lets see, to buy list for now is a nice pair of white skinnies!
maybe a nice pair of heels. a gift to myself perhaps? a birthday present to myself.
a nice pair of yellow heels maybe? if only i can find one! lols.

oh well!
enjoy the song :D and get addicted to it too! lols!

ten more days!

2010-12-16T20:12:00.002+08:00

intended to create my own blogskin and such but rather busy and havent got the time or the motivation to do so. and i shud update since its been like forever!

there was work at fa & library and exams and fyp.
now exams are over now but doesnt seem to have good grades :S

my one week holiday have passed! (omg so fast!)
Monday: work at library
Tuesday: work at famous amos
Wednesday: Class outing! -- ecp && bday celebration for me & minli

oh yeah darling drove :D he drove pretty slow actually. but ill give him time to speed up a little.

here's the album link to the picture :D
15-12-10

oh and thanks to the guys :karthik/ashraf/nur/brian/galvin/darling
for preparing the stuffs and the cakes are wonderful! thanks for them! and the day too! and the card that makes me cry when i read them :D im glad there wasnt any serious cake fight :D and the bike rides~~(that makes my butt aches till now!~~ together and the pictures we took together. i will remember them always :D thank so much guys!

thursday: went out with darling to vivo :D
here's the album :D
16-12-10

friday: -- which is tomorrow. work at famous amos till 6pm or so i guess :S

oh well.
eh! 10 more days to my birthday! omg!
i just realised!!! wth!

anw cant wait for birthday :D
parents going out to eat and i really hope darling could join us also!
dont forget my present babylove :D

and baby, im sorry for being so temperamental these days.
i think being 20 makes me temperamental. well i really hope it wont last the whole year.
i hope our dreams will come true together love.
i do want to be with you always and forever :]
thanks for being patience with me dear.
i love you always. its a promise that i would never break :]

Four more days babeh!

2010-11-10T01:12:00.002+08:00

Four more days and u will be back in Singapore.
I miss you like crazy!

U went shopping today and u bought stuffs for me and one of them is a necklace! I
Cant wait!
Oh and i met talked to a new friend today :) faizah. A friend from penpal :D
And also ive been writing emails to anna from the suburbs. Hahax. Cool or what! I have a friend not from sin :D

Alright classes was as per normal. Had mc mcnuggets meal in network mgmt lect! Lols!
And oh i worked at lib just now. Super mendak to the max la! This fri gonna be another mendak day. I have to work at hilltop lib.

Anw i really cant wait for darling to be in singapore. How i wish i cud fetch him from airport but he said his flight might be at night :(
Aww but either which, i just want him to be in singapore.

I think i shud head to bed soon. Idont wanna be late for csw classes..
And i dont want to be like yesterday. Phone on my hand and i cud still answer my bf's sms but after two-three vibrations, i got lost in lalaland! And in the morning i realised my phone was near my leg.. Hahax!

Alright. Im so sleepppyyy. Gd nitex
Four more days and ull be back and everything gonna be the way it shud be.
No arguments
No late night sleeps
No crying myself to sleep.

I kissed ur ring on my necklace everynight.
I hug tigger while i sleep.
I sprayed ur perfume on my hand just so it felt like i was huggin u
I miss you alot

And i hope u feel the same way too..

Third

2010-11-08T01:07:00.002+08:00

I was glad im going to feeling slightly better in the morning after keep telling myself that im not going to argue with you today...
And it did went great.

You text in th morning
You txt during ur lunch/break/dinner
You even called me after u finished work..

And i am glad to hear ur voice..
I didnt know hearing ur voice could make me cry....
I miss you so much....

And u went msn and talked to me..
And u told me something that changed my feelings...

Msian girls there are flirting with you and u told me u are ignoring them...
But i do know u very well. I know ur nature..
If people talk, ull reply and there goes the "ignoring" part..

But now the thing is... Ive been together with u long enuf to trust u very much.
But unfortunately... I dont trust those girls...
Girls if u layan.. Will menjadi2.....

And so i told u what i truly felt...
And u just reply.. "okay syg. Love u syg...."
That seriously isnt what im looking for.... I was hoping u qud pujuk me and tell me everything will be okay..
But i cant ask u to do that because ure tired and u have work tmr.....
I dont want to be an assed gf today...

So now im crying all alone....
You sleeping peacefully bcox ure tired....
And again i think ill be up till 2 or so crying....

Haish and i thought i cud sleep earlier than yday..
8am lessons later and idk how i will survive...

Haish.... Please come back soon..............

Second night

2010-11-07T01:23:00.003+08:00

Today is the second night and its 124am right now.
I cant sleep....

Argued with you abt somethings today because im very mad at you. The things you said are all so insensitive to me.
Youre not like that. I know u are..
And im still hating the fact that u have to be there...

When i smsed.. I was hoping u wud ask how was my day. How was my work?
U didnt....
There wasnt anyone to call me on my way home from work just now....
Ufinish late and i stayed up till now hoping i cud sms u...
But ended up we argued and ure tired and sleepy...

Right now i wish u knew what im feeling. I wish u understand.. And i wish u wud feel this way too...

Gdnite...
Im gonna stone and cry even more.
Eyebags i really dc abt u....

the first night

2010-11-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

blog's been dead for quite sometime now i realised.
was just plain lazy.

work(FA) + work(SPLIB) + School + Bf + Family + Fyp + Myself = no time = lazy to blog = bad chest pains.

darling has to go KL for 10 days for work.
i got to know it yesterday. after i had lunch with him at Ion....
he told me he have to go and i cry instantly...
i suddenly felt like it was another break up i had 1 year 9 months ago.
that uncontrolled tears.

i couldnt stop myself.
i was mad. angry with him.
he could just say no and no one can force him.
but he said its going to be a good experience for him. and his managers have booked everything for him.....
really, he can just say no.

so i was mad.
went to the library to slack while waiting for the stupid assembly with thik and nur.
and all i did was, sitting at one corner and cry non stop....
it hurts. idk why. but it hurts me so badly.

went to the assembly...
purely waste of time? he called, he wants to meet me after that.
he finished work early. but all i wanted to do was for him to change his mind.

ate free dinner with thik and ash at fc5 and he came to had dinner with us too.
i was mad. but i cant be mad at him. knowing there is no way i can stop him from going. and there is no way that i can stay mad at him always. he still have to go anyway... nothing can make him change his mind.

took bus home with him. i was mad at him.
i said mean things. i said... "why dont u just stay there forever and never come back..." and he cried.... i felt bad. i was angry. but i was so upset with myself for seeing him cry....

reached clementi, took 154...
that was when i just break down while he hold me in his arms...
i couldnt stop it... i really didnt want him to go...
i didnt want to be lonely..... i dont want to have a day without him.......

i passed him my fav yellow watch... exchange our rings...
his ring is too big for me... so what i did was to put it into my necklace...
he gave me his perfume... i exchanged with mine....

i didnt want the night to end yesterday.
we hugged.... and it feels so good... there was nth i could do..
but to pray for his safety....

today he flew off to Kl..
he smsed me at 21:28..
and the flight is 50 mins or so...

im gonna wait.
im gonna sleep with tears in my eyes...
im gonna have eyebags every morning.
im gonna have swollen eyes everyday...
but really.. i dont care.....

omg.......
and now our fav song is on my itunes.....
i cant stop crying...... shit i wish i could talk to someone..............

work

2010-10-15T15:57:00.002+08:00

hohs.

i had a wonderful morning.
not that i dream of anything. its just that its been quite sometime since i overslept.

supposingly to meet rohani today at 10. and when mum went to "work", i thought of continue my sleep till 9.
and without me realising it, i overslept and realised it was 945.
saw rohani's sms saying she couldnt make it today because she is having a job interview.
phew~

&& so i stayed in bed all the wayy till 11 plus.
reading the book "Queen of Babble Gets Hitched" interesting--

had chocolate for brunch.
wonderful!

didnt ate till 1 hour ago, when dad come home with ayam penyet :D
and its 4 now.
so i shud be going. because i have to bath & go to work.

work till 1030 today & starts at 5!
aite. im off!

sorethroat-ed

2010-10-12T21:04:00.003+08:00

sorethroat after eating about 5 cookies (or so) with ice lemon tea at work yesterday!

like seriously?
i use to love famous amos cookies and i can finish a whole 100gm by myself.
but now, i cant even eat 5 cookies? like wttthhhh?

oh yeah. school starting in about.. 6 days
actually im looking forward to it. i had enuf with staying at homes..!
its soooo lonely :[

oh yeah.
my timetable!

its quite suckish as how it was last sem i guess?
no school on fridays and wednesday are 2 hours of lessons?

still planning to work when school starts though.
let's just see how it goes.

i shall do my fyp.
i havent been touching on it since the last two days? :S

meeting babylove tmr for breakfast.
might meet him again later after his test? good luck babylove :D

and soo i shall do fyp tmr with isaac?
aite.im done.

fyp.now//

temperamental

2010-10-08T23:05:00.003+08:00

shits.
i think i screwed up the 30 days blogging challenge thing.
well i cant blame myself. got terrible sick with massive headaches.
and all thanks to the stress that i was facing for the fyp.

currently waiting for fb to finish upload some pics that me & darling took for the day.
went out with him to ion orchard.
he treated me swens lunch. for me doing well for my est? lols.
at least i have the icecream to myself.
shall go there again & tries the ice cream buffet!

nothing much is left to say i guess.?
its saturday tmr and i have work at 6 till 1030.
nite.

DAY 02

2010-09-24T22:22:00.002+08:00

Day 02- The meaning behind your ~~Tumblr~~ blogger name.

okay i dont have Tumblr. nor do i even have twitter. lols
anw, meaning behind my blogger name....

hmmm..
there is this one mr & miss characters.
and i found one that i totally madly in love with or maybe, a character that was attracting to my eyes & how that character is bright and cheery.

at that point, i suffered that MAJOR breakup.
and whenever i look at this character, i feel that there is a need to smile.
and that character is Little-Miss-Sunshiine

so yeap.
i always wanted to be like "LITTLE-MISS-SUNSHIINE" because its a sunshine that never fails to brighten up other people's life.
so after that breakup, ive began liking her a lot!
dad even bought me this 30cm little-miss-sunshine plushies at mini toons that cost $29.90. lols

so at that point, all i ever wanted to do was to brighten other people's life as i dont care how my life were, how suckish, how disappointing i was with the break up.

and so how this lead to knowing a guy online, when i saw his friendster(at that point of time), his description was "I am someone who like to make ppl smile alwayzz....I oso dun like ppl ard me to be sad so
i will try to make them hapi alwayzzz" and so i extracted that from his friendster.

and that, the guy that i called to be my mr sunshiine :]

miss sunshiine + mr sunshiine = riidzlin :D

DAY 01

2010-09-23T21:03:00.003+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.

A recent picture of myself:

When: During Hari Raya with family
Where: JP Toilet :]

15 Interesting Facts about myself:
1] Im superbly madly in love with heels! A collection of nearly 30+ of shoes :D
2] I get jealous SUPER EASILY.
3] Im not as innocent as I think I am.
4] I don't sleep alone.
5] I talk to myself sometime (call me crazy. but thats what happens when u got no one to talk to :D)
6] I cry easily. (especially nearing that "time-of-the-month")
7] I can never stay angry for even one hour :X
8) I make lame jokes that sometimes people dont understand.
9) I love(/miss) doing POA but I suck at Maths.
10) I am in DICT(Information Communication Technology) Course & I have no idea what kind of job that is associated with my course of study.
11) I have good memory!(call myself a history student!)
12) I love High School Musicals(1/2/3) (call me childish but i dont care!)
13) I have good imaginations :D
14) I want to get engaged/married early so that my bf is securely mine :X (yup.s e l f i s h )
15) I feel insecure very superbly easy!

30 days blogging challenge!

2010-09-23T20:55:00.004+08:00

yeap. from today onwards i shall start this 30 days blogging challenge :]
got this from daniel who got it from his friend :]
here are the list of things that im gona blog about in 30 days :]
separate entries for each of the days :]

~~Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself.~~
~~Day 02- The meaning behind your Tumblr name.~~
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends.
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have.
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to.
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why.
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you.
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why.
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days.
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends.
Day 12- How you found out about Tumblr and why you made one.
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.
Day 14- A picture of you and your family.
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play.
Day 16- Another picture of yourself.
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why.
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have.
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them?
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy.
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else?
Day 23- Something you crave for alot.
Day 24- A letter to your parents?
Day 25- What I would find in your bag?
Day 26- What you think about your friends?
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge?
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned?
Day 30- Who are you?

let's start!

Town date!

2010-09-20T23:21:00.004+08:00

Yeahh its nearly midnight and im supposed to be sleeping because im superbly and utterly tired!
But its okay i shall just blog first.

Went to school in the morning today for fyp.
Was settling some stuffs and telling the guys what mr albert talk to me abt..
Yes a lot of things to be done wit such little time. Even so, i always do have a time for darling :)

After fyp meeting, took bus to clementi and then took 154 all the way to jp. Wanted to suprise darling with a CHELSEA thing. I couldnt decide whether to get him:
1) towel- which i think its rather small and also he said he dont use towel
2) alarm clock- which i think it wont wake him up :X
3) a cap- which he told me he doesnt wear caps. He loves his gel-ed hair :))
4) a mug- which is the the thing that i bought for him.

Soo after that took train to jurong east. Decided to bounce back from Joo koon to jurong east cause i feel i was rather early. We sot of bet that who is the one late will have to blanje the other. So i didnt wanna be late!

Reached jurong east first! Yay-ness!
Darling came at 115 like that and i gave him his present and he was rather suprise! :) yes! Thats the point! To suprise him but sometimes he doesnt get the hints that i gave him :X

Soooo we took train to city hall and our first stop....

funan
we dont really wanna get anything there. We just go there to have lunch at kfc because both of us are super starving! Lols. Since darling was late, so he treated lunch! Yay to kfc!

After that we walked a little bit at funan to see if we both can find any interesting iphone casing. I hate it cause now all i see are iphone 4 casings! So what happened to iphone 3gs? Are they like ancient or something? Shheeeshh!

Next stop..

Peninsula Plaza
i heard from friends that penin has nice cheapo skinny jeans!
Yeap i saw one and i even bought one! A black skinny jeans which was only $15. I should have got white jeans! Shit when i went there i totally got mesmorised with all the colors! :
After that...

Ion Orchard
went to Uniqlo cause darling wanted a long sleeve shirt from there. Lols and so it was on sale so alright, i got one long sleeve shirt for him. He said its for work anyway. So alright and everytime i go to Uniqlo, my long list of wishlist
(or i call it my "wantlist") will get even longer than ever! Sorry love the things there are just adorable! But why must it be very expensive! Ish!
Ill put up the list at the end of this blog post!

Lucky Plaza Mcdonalds
After being superbly tired of window shopping, we went to lucky plaza mcdonalds to get some mcflurry( with chocolate fudge = which tasted like mudpie!) and darling had double choco frappe ( i had the large one in school )
Since we are both bored and killing time, i decided to video webcam! We took random video of us me blabbering. Lols!
[ Ill post the vid later on since im blogging on iphone now! :)]

First vid was me ~~blabbering~~ introducing on mcflurry and frappe. Lols and i was continue merepek-ing!

Second vid i was introducig abt darling and all darling did was smiling away and showing his deep deep dimple!

Third vid, the last vid of the day i was blaberring abt shoes and it was the sweetest vid among the other two! Lols.

Yeap after that we went to..

Singapore Polytechnic
to get some juices for parents and thennn

Clementi
to window shopping on iphone casing again :)
By then i feeling superbly tired!

Took 154 and went home and darling asked this question:
"of all people why did u choose to stay with me"

Seriously after that break up i had, i was finding myself hard to smile and laugh. Which is very unlikely of me and how i was anti-heels for a month after that serious breakup. Met guys somewhat in the middle but none of them could make me feel purely happy. One went MIA after i decided nt to go movie with him and the other wasnt making me feel so secure and idk why. The other one was an unrequieted love, merely a crush.

And one day went in randomly to alamak chat and found two guys that are sincere of really making friend! Well the others are just plain horny -.-

Chatted wit both but i was somewhat stuck wit one. Idk what makes me got stuck wit him though and all i wanted to do was to continue chatting wit him. It was time for me to go to bed but i manage to get his number. After that chat ended, all ive been thinking abt was this particular guy..

Nxt day with not much hope, i smsed this particular guy and we got to know each other even more. We webcam and i always rmbr to how he will always count my yawns whenever i chat with him. Back then he doesnt have a webcam but he did wanna see me.

Got even more serious as days passed. And he "sound" me with a nice little poem( which i have forgotten! Stupid harddisk spoilt) and how i intended to reply him on our first date but i ended replying him the next day instead. We got together even before we met! First date was a risky business cause it was purely a blind date but i know this is going turn out well!

Till now, that guy is still my bf. still my mr sunshiine. That guy who never fails to make me smile with his great deep dimple and his endless jokes.. That guy who makes my life into a rainbow after that horrible breakup. Insecure feelings does happen because i didnt know how he was like before i met him. Even now i do feel that jealousy but i believe it wasnt as serious as it was last time:)

To my syg, my mr sunshiine always :)
Thanks for chatting with me that night. Thanks for replying my sms the next day after we chat. Thanks for smsing me all the while and layaning all my jokes. Thanks for making me your gf :) (oh shit idk why im crying!) thanks for evrrything that u have done for me and how sometimes i havent been appreciative towards you or hurt ur feelings..
I love you md noor ridzman b samsudin :)

Thanks for being a great bf to me :)
My days are like a rainbow with your existence in my life :)

So i had a great day :)
I did say i wanna post a "want-list"
So here it is:
1) skinny-jeans-looking leggings(Uniqlo)
2) tunic shirt
3) oxford smart white shirt
4) nice looking white blouse with ruffles
5) charm bracelet from chomel
6) long sleeve grey shirt :)- this im gonna get myself real soon! Lols

Alright la i shud sleep now. Gonna leave darling a long sms. Mmuahx! Nitex!

2nd entry of the day

2010-09-19T23:18:00.003+08:00

i didnt know many things have happened to me so far.
ive been reading my old blog posts.
and how many unhappy & happy days i have encountered.

there was the breakup of my life that completely change me.
then there was a few guys that was just not the one i was looking for.
and finally then there was Md Noor Ridzman

a guy that ive met thru an online chat.
got together on the 28JAN09
and went on our first official blind date on 04FEB09.

weird as how many people say online dating dont work/dangerous
but alhamdullilah, my relationship with darling turns out pretty fine all this while
& we are both getting serious and this relationship of ours are getting stronger by each seconds :]
yes we both argue.
yes we both did came to a point that we both should break up.
but we both knew, breaking up doesnt solve anything.

the first time i saw at him at Jurong East Mrt going towards Joo Koon.
the first lunch we had at Banquet.
the first time u hold my hands.
the first time u brought me to japanese garden.
the first picture we took.
the first kiss....
the first date we had that rained heavily thereafter.
all the little things that we've done together.. i willl nvr forget them :]

and so now everytime we are having problems, our resolving-problem-place will be at Japanese Garden.
thats what u told me recently right syg? :]
we can spend the whole day at Japanese garden, resolving our arguments and disagreements and the end result, turns out to be a happy ending :]

i love you ridzman.
thanks for everything that you have done for me all this while.
i do wish to spend my whole life with you...

boredom strike again

2010-09-19T22:26:00.002+08:00

when boredom strikes, i play bs.
but this time i manage to get some good shooting done =D

im tired and im not sure if i shud be waiting for darling to finish work or not at 1130.
now is only 1027. almost an hour more to go....

gotta go school tmr.
yeap supposingly to have that Silver infocom day thingy.
but not going today and tmr as well.
might go on Tuesday.

tmr shall do fyp in the morning till 12 plus or so & then off to meet love to go to Penin.
ive been wanting to go there as some of my friend said, skinnies there are CHEEAAP-oo!

so yeap shall look at it :D

oh and went online shopping-ing at Gmarket again :X
i stopped that habit since quite sometimes since im always lacking out of money.
but now im pretty happy wit wat i have so i went G-Market-ing :D

so i bought a smiley face yellow earpiece &
necklace :D

am still currently looking for a nice charm bracelet.
the ones at chomel are not as nice anymore :[

oh well.
shall still find them :]

alright.
im done here.

oh and i have a sudden craving for swensens ice cream!
urghh!
lols.

alrightttt-yy :D

2010-09-18T22:16:00.002+08:00

okay actually im lazy toblog.
but im just gonna waste time & im gonna act like im so free which actually im not.
i have a meeting minutes to do but seriously.
im so lazy to think of fyp right now.

thinking of fyp makes me panic & stress out.
which i wud nt like to be right now.

its only 10 plus and im feeling so so tired.
so so ngantuk.
so so penat.
just now went out with parents to jalan raya with my nice silver heels.
i guess thats what taking up my energy!

oh well.
i know this is random.
i shud seriously save my money.
i really wanna get engaged next year!
norlin please stop yourself from shopping!

hmm what do i want/need:
onto earphones/fruity series earpiece in yellow
new iphone casing = my current yellow one seems like its falling apart :S
long sleeve shirt that is on-sale in UNIQLO right now.
more tudongs! = green
uh-huh. i guess thats all that i can think of right now.

gdnite.

blackshot

2010-09-05T23:37:00.002+08:00

whee~
im on blackshot once again!

its been quite sometime since i last played.
so i kinda suck and lose my skills :X
hahax.

anw
i got nth much to blog about.
waiting for darling to finish his work
anddd i shall go to sleep right now!

gdnite!

superbly bad sorethroat!

2010-09-03T23:05:00.002+08:00

having bad sorethroat!
like seriously bad.
i cant even swallow my food properly.
that sucks.

anw
lappy's back.
happy as it is but most of my applications are gone.
i need my:
microsoft words
visual studio
cs5s

yeapppp
anw went ion with darling yesterday.
he promised to buy for me this yellow cardigan that i have so long been eyeing on it.
end up didnt buy it. lols.

darling bought me this dress instead at UNIQLO.
which he thinks it will look nice on me & will make me look like a twenty year old.
lols.
anw, i love it.
thanks love :D

oh and next on the list is this leggings that look superbly nice!
and its superbly looks like skinny jeans! but its leggings!
can i have that next month looovveee :D :D :D
oh and i shud get that long sleeve office shirt in white!

yes im a spoilt brat :X
sorry la cant help it.

anw,
walked around at ion and went to the new daiso.
seriously, i love daiso!
lols.
cheapskate? so what!

then from ion walked all the way to 313.
went to the uniqlo there and it is much much bigger than the one at ion.
oh well.

took bus to bugis and took another bus to imm to take my beloved lappy back!
so yeapp.
got my lappy back and loving it :D

alright-syy i guess im done.
im tired.
back aching superbly bad

hari raya in 6 days?
wow.
alhamdullilah.
i believe that this year my ramadhan is better than last year's :]

alright.
nitex!

two days

2010-08-31T21:49:00.003+08:00

alhamdullilah.

i have been practicing the surah al-qursi and the three Qul's every morning.
i really hope i could continue this habit till forever.
insyallah.

icd exam tmr.
serious said. i have no confident in it at all.
havent been doing so much of practices or so.
i shall mug tonight till late.
or at least till how far as my eyes can open.

suddenly im in love with "teenage dreams" by Katy Perry.
thanks to Tap Tap Revenge.

soooo.
alright.
im done here.
gotta go back to icd.

ya allah tenangkan la hatiku untuk menjalani peperiksaanku esok.

back

2010-08-29T22:07:00.002+08:00

alhamdullilah.

im back from NEMC ryc today.
earlier this evening.

full of happiness and anxious-ness & excitedness to go home.
but its a mixture of sadness as ill be missing my lovely sisters at THIQA!
yes its been a short period of only three days 2 nights.
but even so, as one of the eldest participants together with syazwani, (and might there be others?), i have treated the rest of you like my little sisters.
you gals were a crazy bunch and it was just so exciting to be with you.
the smiles and the laughters we share will not be forgotten. insyaallah.
and also, i hope we would meet each other again from time to time.
like the raya outing that we planned. insyallah if nothing gets in the way.

ryc camp.
three days two night.
laughters and tears that we shared are unforgettable.

laughters includes how THIQA sisters have put their effort in cheering.
the "ayat ayat alim" from hanisah.
the tap-in-tap-out then goes to another bus & taps-in again.
the raiinbow banana smile (:
the wonderful night laughs we shared before we went to sleep.
thanks for everything.

the tears or sadness.
the feeling of realizing how our parents are important to us.
how we cried even though we were being blindfolded.
heavy flows of tears came streaming down our cheeks, out of which we hope, it gives us a kesedaran. insyallah before its all too late.

i hope after this camp, ill be nice with my parents and respect them.
i know i might disagree to them sometimes but no matter what, they have gone hardships for me for the past 20 years.
and now i shud help them with watever and however i can.

i hope i could be insaf to ALLAH.
insyallah.

im tired.
i havent been getting enuf sleep.
so good nite.
tmr got school!

layout

2010-08-27T00:04:00.002+08:00

finally changed my layout.
its been super long since i changed.

this time round is rather simple.
black + yellow + white + some pinkish.
not bad.
did this layout for the past 2 hours :S
and now my shoulders ache super bad.

went out to jp library today with rohani.
and there was this sudden urge to borrow a malay book.
lols.

and its about somewhat love triangle?
noo im not in the "love triangle" thingy anymore.
but i always wonder, how the person makes the decision to stay to one.
how easy it was in stories or movies, but it was so much harder in real life.
believe me.
ive went there.

neways.
didnt even really studied actually.
rohani came late and mostly the places are full
and we ended up sitting at children corner.
oh well.

sat and talk and discuss about tmr's ryc camp.

theeenn
walked to jp,
window shopping.
i finally got leggings
and i love the maxi dress i bought yday at imm.
its longg and it isnt as squezzy or maybe at least it couldnt see much of big fat butt. :X
most impt its covering my ankle and im loving it.

oh and minli told me its not really call maxi dress.
its called, "bohemian dress"
lols.

neways im planning to wear it soon but idk when.
monday most probably wear formal!
yayy to black high heels that hurts-me-super-bad-cause-its-~~lil~~-small!

sooo yeapp.
nth much actually.
bought nice markers at popular and some pens at harris.

nth much.
im motivated to get more ~~maxi~~ bohemian dresses!

alright.
tmr ryc camp at al mawaddah mosque at PUGGOL!
so i wont be updating for three days i think

going off tmr at 5 plus to meet rohani and its gonna be a longggg train ride.
darling planned to accompanied me.
its a pity that he cudnt join us for buka.
will be back on sunday afternoon at abt 2.

so yeap.
gonna miss everything.
fb + blog + iphone! (dad insisted i use his phone instead since the batt last longer)
its okay dad. either which u cant get to my iphone cause its securely locked :D heheheeee

alright.
i shud sleep.
head-egg!

nitex.

studying

2010-08-25T21:57:00.002+08:00

yes i shud be studying but i feel that i need to put some life to my blog once again.

so yes.
today i have sent my dearest laptop to the "hospital"
and i think it has to go a "brain"(motherboard) operation.
and thats very sad because all its memories of the past(things in the com) might be gone forever.
but its okay, there is something that can help to regain its memory(backup).
i wish my dearest computer to get well soon because i really need it soon :[

thats because i wanna start doing my fyp stuffs!
okay i didnt know i have a lot of other things to do for fyp.
introduction video, video in vb, credits, another layout.
shittssss.

so yeap.
went to imm with minli today :]
she accompanied me to send my laptop and we went daiso after that walk arounddd
yeapp thank you miss yew minli for accompanying me :D

went back to bro's house,
got money then accompanied mom to nieces school and then took bus to jp
bought food at jp for buka and went back home.

met dad in the bus and he can do laundry todayyy!
yayness.
lols.

tmr my plans are to:
go jp library with rohani
walk around at jp to find formal blouse
(maybe) go home and rest a while
go jw bazaar to find food for buka
go home
do laundry
fold clothes

sheesh.
im becoming like a maid soon :X
alrights-yy

i shud get back to icd.
:D

patience

2010-08-24T22:26:00.002+08:00

last week of yog break? awwww :[
this sucks. i havent finish enjoying my wakeup late moments!

updates:
1] still working at FA (i think? -or perhaps not)
2] my laptop screwed up again.
3] 14 days of fasting
4] gastrics + cough
5] more elf products bought online :X
6] still going out with darling once a week
7] supposed to be studying my icd exam NEXT WEEK
8] dadadada

okay idk what else.

roughly la kay.
idk if i shud still work at FA, i mean, ure working part time, so you can work anytime that youre available right?
if i cant work due to health related issues and then cant find a replacement, then blame me?
then still wanna say "your salary will be affected" =.=
enuf said abt FA

laptop screwed up again.

kept having that power surge on usb port pop up alert. which is rather irritating.

so i called up toshiba in the morning and the guy asked me to do a system restore or some recovery thingy.
*first irritation: have to wait so long to get on the line*

and called up spice & ask if they can help with the system restore and this guy said, "err im not sure if we have anything on toshiba. maybe you could look thru ur manual guide. you know when u buy ur computer, it comes with it?"
im like wtf?
1st: if i know the manual guide got the recovery setting instructions, why do i bother calling u up?
2nd: you simply said you not sure, arent u like going to ask around? so much of you being "helpful"
oh and he added, "maybe you could go to the website and look at forums for help?"
i reeallyy felt like banging the phone on the wall -.-
=.= =.= =.=
*thats the second irritation*

anddd i did the system restore or watsoever restore setting thingy and it took me nearly 2 hours!
and i thought everyhting was fine.

went out with darling after that to jw bazaar ramadhan to get food for parents.
and seriously i think i can spend $50 on food! :X :X :X

went home did laundry and such and tried the usb hub.
and worst, cant even read. kept restarting the com but still same problem -.-

called up toshiba the second time, and ask abt this problem.
and waa this is the third irritation -.-
its a she, and she asked me to do system restore and that factory setting again.
then if u wanna send laptop to the drop of point for repair, the person will have to give me this ref number.
then i told the person "maybe you could give me the number so i dont have to call back"
and i thought she going to give me the ref number, instead she gave me a number to call.
and i call up and it was the drop off place call number -.-
like really wth?
u didnt give me any reference number and u ask me call the drop off point?
really damn nonsense.

and the third time i call the toshiba
finally someone kind enuf to guide me better.
he gave me the ref number and i ask him why is my usb like that, could be cox my usb ports are spoilt or my motherboard problem. sad-ed

theeennnn yeap icd exam next week
and i havent study.
okay maybe i did study.
at least im having some basic ideas on document.getElementById && some others.

alright.
i shud get to sleep.

i wanna smell my pillows!
cox it smells darling-ish. :D

and oh i need to update and change my blogskin soon.
prob thurs :D

niteeeex!

blog is dead

2010-08-06T23:12:00.002+08:00

again. my blog is dead.

its not that im lazy.
its just that i got nothing to blog abt.
okay i dont have much of an interesting life actually.

what makes my life interesting are darling & family & my crazy friends in school & besties.
other than that, im just an ordinary girl.

oh and i have an addiction with eyeliners nowadays.
i have like 6 eyeliners :S
a few pencil ones - that are broken and lazy to sharpen
2 liquid eyeliner
marker kind of eyeliner
and some others :s
what im gonna buy next is GEL KIND OF EYELINER!

i dont even know why i buy so many eyeliner
especially liquid eyeliner when i cant even apply them properly or spend 30 mins or more infront of the mirror applying and re-applying them.
seriously i have such shaky hands!
and i so need lots of practice!

whyy do some people in youtube makes it so easy to draw them!
while i keep having to apply and reapply cause it causes a mess!

anw.
i shud be sleeping.
its nearly midnight.

yog break starts liao :D
yay-ness!

i need to get a job soon.
fasting month coming too.
looking forward to it!

alright!
gdnite!

Darling's 24!

2010-07-25T23:00:00.003+08:00

yeap today's darling birthday xD

parents wanted to treat darling lunch :)
end up went to swens to eat!

Had fish and chips for main and ring-a-ding-a-ling for desserts!
Just wonderful!

Dad do nags at him too saying:
1) dont go out too often.
2) dont call too much
3) save ur money

and the best one : "i treat u like my own son"
woah! Wonderful isnt it!

Parents accepted!

Alright! I shud be sleeeping!
Tmr monday morning. Back to school. Looking forward to wednesday!

I have yet to touch on my csm ca3 due this thurs! Ouch! Lols!

Nitex!

I did have some quality time together with darling for a short while.
Parents were walking infront while me and darling behind laughing2 smiling2!
Yay-neess!

Got to take two pics xD

Blogging on IPhone!

2010-07-23T23:42:00.002+08:00

Wow-ness i didnt know i can actually blog on iphone!
I did try on ipod before but it just doesnt seem to let me type on this textbox. Oh well!

Today i went out with darling xD
went out to have lunch with him at clementi. We both miss he wanton noodles there xD

then send kids to school.

Thennnn bla bla.
Oh and we couldnt decide wat to do and where to go so we flipped a coin!
Results were take red line train to orchard and eat swensens.
But......

We took train to outram and changed at harbourfront instead.
So we ended up going to vivoooo and ate long johns.

Sorry love i was expecting the swens treat buttt its okay xD

So we walked around found boxes and i found cheap blushes at daiso!
I really do hope they dont cause terrible rashes or allergy. Hahax!

After that went to ljs. Darling bought me a hershey pie and sorry love i dont mean to suddenly rmbr that "guy"
after that went to take train and darling decided to half half with me buying shoes! Yay-ness!

Went all the way back at jp.
Bought a red heels but velvet (i think) kind of material. Which is pretty cool and cost only $10!
Thanks for paying half of it love xD hehex!

Went mcdonalds and i got myself that cornetto mcflurry while darling had flavour burst xD
walked around a little while and oh darling told me he wanted to get that same shirt with me at COTTON ON!
Yay! Super excitedd xD

so yeap thats my day.
Sory love ur birthday celebration this year wasnt as exciting as last year's
nevertheless, being with you is always a fun thing!

Looking forward to meet u again this sunday!
Dad's treating lunch for darling's birthday at IMM xD

it seems that dad has been accepting darling!
Which is great and im glad!

Oh and getting a new specs tmr!
Thin black specs! Here iii coomeeeee xD
asked darling wat he thinks of it and he said it will look nice xD

so yeap.
Next wed is another fun event!
Tp prsentation isnt fun but after that is :)
gonna skip fwt to go out with darling!

1y6m anniversary! How did i ever tahan him!
But i guess its that little magic thing called love :)

ily ridzman :)
alWays and insyaallah forever xD

yeap i shud be sleeping!
I realised im starting to have bad eyebags!

Hmmm things needed:
something for my eyebags!
Za lotion! (face & hand)
nice flat sandals//slippers!

friday friday!

2010-07-20T11:26:00.001+08:00

i need my laptop!

and i cant wait for friday :D

hospital-ization

2010-07-16T22:10:00.004+08:00

seriously im somewhat crying now.

not because im sad
its because ive been sneezing so much that makes my eyes watery and makes it seems like im crying. shhesshh.

and yeap. my new Toshiba lappy has been hospitalized :[
thanks to some of the letters on the keyboard that just have to create problems for me.

so i just send it to the drop of point at Imm just now.
i really hope i will get it back soon.

in the mean time, using dad's com to blog and such.

nothing much.

i seriously need to start savings.

need:
MY TOSHIBA LAPTOP BACK!
i need a new specs. my current specs hurts me too much. - change to that $150 yellow specs i saw at jw!

i need a black eyeliner. - preferably liquid eyeliner.
~~i need a bday present for darling. - erms. dog tag necklace?~~
i need a present for parent's anniversary - utensils sets
needs to go funan to send bro's itouch for repair. - next friday.

wants:
nice button downs -cotton or perhaps bugis
skinny grey jeans &/ skinny white jeans - get from penin
goes to peninsula plaza!
bicycle :X
colorful iphone casings to change everyday that matches the clothes i wear -get from gmarket
cotton on slippers - rubi shoes
around orchard with darling. - friday!

needs to do:
buy presents.
save money.
stop comparing ownself with other girls.
eat less
go for runs &/ play soccer
icd websites
study for fwt test! *URGENT*
csm proposal
7 bow rubberbands for raiinbowkrafts
fyp vb *URGENT*

schedules:
~~fwt tests on monday. -19july~~
fyp meeting with DAS - 21july
meet up raiinbowkrafts client on -22july
darling's bday celebration on friday. -23july
1y6m - 28july
parent's anniversary -31july

shits!
busy busy week!

sleepy.

2010-07-08T08:12:00.001+08:00

i am very sleepy.

end

boredom in in TP class

2010-07-07T08:10:00.004+08:00

i am in Tp lecture class and seriously before i fall asleep, i better do something.

so yea.
i thought i was late today.
reached at 8 exactly in class and its like wow im like the second person to come.

i know im gonna be late because i spent nearly 30 minutes finding clothes to wear :X
i dont even know why that matters since Im not even meeting darling today. :[

anw.
i wanted to blog yesterday but I kept side-tracking to promoting Raiinbowkrafts instead.

so yeap in one day(which was yesterday), many things happened.

especially during lunch,
after lunch karthik forgot to carry my laptop with him.
so to cut things short, he left my laptop in fc2 -.-

and only at t9 when I met him, then only i realised that my laptop was not with him.
so karthik and ashraf went back to fc2 to get my laptop.
thank youuuu XD

sooo yeap.
one more thing that happened was during csm.

we were doing our project discussion.
thenn ashraf asked karthik "do you have a wiper?" - the wiper refers to spectacle cloth.
then karthik said, " no the toilet has it"
and minli laughed out loud at it.

you know why?
cause our project is about high tech toilet and this toilet has a wiper for the seat cover.
and yeap, karthik asked ashraf to use that toilet seat wiper to wipe his specs.

and i happily posted the comment on fb.

andd we took random pictures tooo :D
sorry im damn lazy to upload each picture one by one.
im gonna just screenshot it from fb.

sooo yeap.
what a crazy day.
alright. i shall try to concentrate.
well try only.

gdbye.

tired-ness

2010-07-05T22:41:00.003+08:00

// blurry. but im just so loving it <3

im tired and sleepy.

i only did one part of csm. and i dont feel like continue-ing anymore.
cant find suitable words in my brain. kept thesaurus.com -ing all the way :S
sleepy. tired. brain-dead :S

neways.
thanks for the day today darling.
hope u enjoyed the day as much as I do :] *wink*

thanks for starting to tressure this relationship of ours more seriously.
thanks for making my day a better one each and everyday.

real thanks for everything :]

nitex! i love you ridzman :D

saw "you" in the morning.
said hi and "you" smiled. asked whats class "you" will be having and "you" asked me and we went on our separate ways. miss talking to "you" as a friend though. oh well.

csm

2010-07-04T22:34:00.002+08:00

yes i shud be doing my csm right now.
buttt im just plain lazy to do :X

neways im glad dad bought me a new lappy.
Toshiba 14 inch which is so much lighter than my stupid acer 15.6 inch lappy.

Love it to the max cause its white :D

alright.
nothing much going on i guess.

i havent been updating a lot of things i realised :S
#1 my things to buy in lms.bs.com
#2 dates in lms.bs.com
#3 my own noticeboard in my room.

kept procrastinating :S

so yeap 2nd week of school starts tmr.
damn in 2-3 weeks time i have a 1k++ words proposal for csm to do! shits.!

so yeap.
nth else i guess.
meeting darling tmr :]

nitex and i shall start doing my csm :D

400th post

2010-06-28T22:45:00.004+08:00

wow.

oh ya second entry.

i have failed to go on my less food; no gassy drink diet :[

i ate ONE plate of chicken rice when im supposed to eat half!
mcdonald chocolate flavour burst icecream!
long john silver meal with fizzy mango (or something like that?) - gassy drink! definite nono!
hershey pie. (why do i keep be reminded of "you" when i eat that! stop thinking abt "you", please brain! "you" dont even talk to me anymore!)

the only healthy thing i drank today was the yoghurt drink!
wth, so much of me wanna lose weight huh!

anw,
there's always another day :]

anniversary babyy

2010-06-28T21:24:00.004+08:00

another anniversary date we had today :]

after csm; met darling at dover bustop.
took bus at 105.
and i realised that darling do put his hands on my side to hold me.
(which he doesnt do it often before)
love it though :]

nice to be in his arms :]

went to IMM and first things first !
we went straight to Daisooo.
in the lift we took one picture :D

wanted to find grey felt there :[ but no such luck.

i did say that i wanted to get only one thing from Daisoo.
but i ended up buying 4 :X
black felt
nice circle-ish box
supposingly my laptop casing. (i tried; supposingly it shud fit, but it didnt -.-)
and this really cute small white water bottle. (superbly cute la! like 200ml of water can put inside but even so, i can always refil it right :D)

after that we tookk pictureees down the travelator.
its always our picture opportunity there :D

we walked and walked and ate ice cream at Mcdonalds then went on a hunt of searching for skinny jeans.
hahax.
well i wanted those skinnies!
the cheapest skinnies that i cud find was in FOX which was $29.90

the other skinny i found was from cotton on $39.90
i think i rather buy from new future jeans than cotton on since they have more options.

neways I wanted to go to Peninsular with darling soon.
my friend said, cheaper skinnies are sold there.

hmmmm..
i found a blogshop that sells skinnines at $19.00
super considering of buyiiingg~

neways.
after such "skinnies hunting" we decided to go home :D
took the shuttle bus to JE MRT
and took more photoooss XD

so yeap.
had a wonderful day with love :D
thanks for the day darling.

happy 1y5 anniversary.
im looking forward for next month!
double the celebration! 1y6m + darlin's bday! :D

alright.
im getting tired.
stupid laptop. why must u be super heavy!

thanks love for everything that you have done for me & this relationship;
be less stubborn && listen to me sometimes kay :D
ill try my best to be less jealous-ness

love you ridzman.
i really hope our plans for the future will really come true.
engagement + wedding! wow-ness!

lols. i realised i like to keep adding -ness to some words nowadays.
hahax.
oh well.
fyp meeting tmr after csm. haish. back to vb all over again :[

oh well.
gdnites

new term

2010-06-27T23:23:00.002+08:00

new terms starts tmr.
and here I am not sleeping yet when tomorrow i have classes that starts at 8 in the morning -.-

was looking around for vb stuffs when i stopped at fb and look randomly at people's pictures.
why.
why are they so pretty!
nice skin. doesnt have the need to keep relying on specs.
pretty and outgoing.

the more i look, the more demoralised i am.

i wanna be thin.
like seriously, i need to lose that FLABBY belly!

i wanna wear jeans that on size 28 not size 30.
i wanna buy clothes that size M not size L

I wanna start to dress properly.
but unfortunately, i don't know what suits me.

most of the clothes i bought, was on impulse.
nice = buy.

but some end up i cant wear cause im such a FATTY!
i feel like i shud really cut down on food.

like one meal a day or something?
or maybe, one rice plate per day.
and even so, i shall eat half.

seriously,
what else i can do besides running//eating less to lose weight?
drinkk plain water instead of gassy.

oh well.
i shall give it a shot tmr.

gonna skip lunch.
after lab, rush to bro's house,
send nieces to school at 1, then come back to class for csm.

im gonna miss icd lects for a few weeks.

meeting darling after csm though.
tmr's our 1y5m anniversary :]
thanks love for everything.

its been great so far since "that day"
no arguments.
happy mornings and happy night sleeps :]
thanks for playing your part.

im glad when i woke up everyday, the thinking of "you are going to leave me" is back of my mind.
or that "unsecure" feeling too.

i woke up.
happy smiles. knowing you wud at least i cud hear your voice twice a day :]

i love you ridzman :]

but seriously, i need to lose weight.
stupid flabby belly!

aite.
i shud be sleeping now.

ohs
and raiinbowkrafts doing great so far.
just now i made 10 bow hairbands in 2 hours :O

gdnite.

Its been super long

2010-06-17T17:33:00.003+08:00

Its nearing the end of the second week of holiday and seriously I didnt enjoy my holiday very much.!

I have been spending my time doing fyp all the way
trying to make the program work.
and thats the only thing that makes me so busy -.-

i really ought to be spending my holiday doing some shopping or such!
and also i have to get the fyp working before 23 June 2010.
Before meeting with the clients. that sucks terribly!

on the bright side,
im quite happy with my mst results actually :]
60 for fwt && 78 for icd
gooddd! i so need to get back my 3 point something semester gpa!

its been a week since I last met darling.
and we went to meet up todayyy~

*WINKS*

pictures to be uploaded later~~

one more week till holidays end!
thats suck!

class outing next week on 24 in Sentosa!
how i wish darling cud go!
hmph!

oh well.
i shall just carryyy onnn~

alright!
im done for now.

3 days of entry!

2010-06-03T21:49:00.009+08:00

aku ngerti kamu, kau ngerti aku
aku sayang kamu selamanyaaaa

OMG. im in love with the song YANK by waliband!
all thanks to my darlingggg :]

this is gonna be a long post. i havent been updating quite a lot. cause im just plain lazy and been studying for mst anddd going with out with darling & gf, rohanii!

so yeap.
hmmm.

31 may 10
my sales call presentation.
got to finally wear wonderful black super high heels :]
skipped icd lecture with thik,ash and minli to prepare for icd.
so yeap. all in all everything goes just fine :]

after that at 3, met up with Rohanii and she insisted to go to Chinese Garden.
even though i was with her, memories of me and darling going there on our first date was fresh in my mind.
so even though it was drizzling, we still went in.

i rarely go to chinese garden with darling though. we usually go to japanese garden instead. so since i went chinese garden with rohani, at least its quite a new exploration for me :]
we both found the nearest bench and settle there and snapping pictures.
didnt bother to even find for shelter because my feet couldnt walk any further.
thankkss to my "wonderful" heels. lols.

after that, we went home. happy with the amount of pictures we took for that day :]

at night, it wasnt much happy-ness at all.
argued with darling and cried myself to sleep. swollen eyes and couldnt really sleep cause darling said something like as if we are really breaking up.

01 june 10
woke up with a heavy heart. yes skipped icd for a day.
no csm anyway. then went to meet up with darling at 10 plus or so? -cant rmbr

then we went to chinese garden. he was late. i wasnt in the mood at all. and he reached at 1020+. and i have waited for 20 minutes plus for him. seriously i was mad.
but i put it aside since i dont want to start the argument early in the morning.

we both walked that pathway down to chinese garden entrance.
and as we walked, i rmbr every single detail while we were there before.
finally we reached our so-called "place".
a nice shelter place. the first place he bought me on our first date.

we sat on the opposite benches and i kept staring at that bench.
the things he said. the things he did on that very first date on 4feb09
everything was crystal clear. the first picture we took. it was just perfect.
and i realised i couldnt stop my tears anymore.

16 months ago, everything in our little world seems so perfect.
seems so nice. so peaceful. after 6 months or more. things started happening in our life. our relationship wasnt that perfect anymore.
wasnt that smooth.
16 months now, we were there arguing and on the verge of breaking up.
we both didnt want to say "that-word" because we still love each other.
i asked, "u masih sygkan i tk?"
and he said he does. why love but u still want me to leave you?

and he told me he just couldnt hurt me anymore.
seriously i dont care being hurt. no matter how hurt i am, im still in love with you.
thats the craziest thing about love. u dont much care about how hurt u are. but u manage to keep holding on.

i told him i wont break up unless u really found someone better or tell me you don't love me. and u didnt say any of that, so there is not a valid reason for me to leave you.
i was crying badly enuf and so he told me something else that made me even worst.

i cried so much till my chest hurts real bad + difficulties in breathing + nearly wanna faint.
you tried holding me and asking me if im okay but i let go.
i don't do that unless im very mad at you.
you should know urself that i love when ure holding me.
but at that time i wasnt.

i was just so mad.
super mad.
cried for nearly more than half an hour or so.
and i cry and cry and u sat there, regretting? -i didnt know cause i was busy crying my eyes out and trying not to faint.
i knew u were crying.
but at that point i didnt care.
how could u even do that to me. that was my main concern.

after crying so much. i started getting on my normal breathing and after sometime i cried again.
you started to hold me again. this time i just couldnt let go.
u hold me and i cried in ur arms.
at that point of time all i wanted to do was to get up, return him the ring and walk away without looking back.
but i think back, no i will regret of doing that because i did that because of anger. not because of what i really wanted.

so after sometime we cool down.
talked it out slowly.
and we both decided to give each other another chance.
its more like to give one last try on this relationship.
another chance for this relationship to work.

i was just so close to tell him ill support him to continue his studies.
and started trusting him fully but you lose it love.
you need to gain it back.

after some time. we were fine.
we took some pictures and began this new trick.
if one person says something that could make the other person angry, quickly give the angry person a kiss on the cheek. lols.
it works and we both will be laughing endlessly.

so here are the pics.
eventhough we were both having swollen eyes. -okay more like im having.

then we took bus to jp and had our lunch there.
and oh yeah we were at banquet. we were sitting in the middle of two groups of people.
on my left there was this two guys.
talking about some service provider and complaining how terrible their service was.
really condemn-ing. i was looking at darling and was trying not to laugh.
we werent eavesdropping its just that there we close to us and we could hear what they were talking about loud and clear. lols.
and after condemn-ing, they talk about Blackshot!
im was mouthing, "OMG!" to darling. lols.

then after sometime they left.
what we ate that day was related to the another group of people on my right.
it was a couple.
darling had food from the hotplate stall while i got food from the wanton stall.
as for the couple on our right, the guy had food from wanton stall and the gf had the hotplate food.
and we both were like lols! so coincidental. hahax.

thennn we ended the dayy and it was a happy ending day.

02june10
my tp presentation.
overall we did great :] although while minli was presenting she kept looking at me for words to help her with. lols. even if i found words i cant show to her. lols.

after lesson, met rohanii and she decided to go Mustafa centre to find bangles.
lols and it was the furthest i went with her since we have to go to outram and change to purple line to farrer park.
we reached there went to city link mall or something like that to have our lunch at Mcdonalds.

after that we find our way to Mustafa centre and really when we were in there we were like in another world. hehex.
rohanii found her bangles and i bought one set of silver bangles too :]]
they are cheapp and i cant resist! lols.
so yeap we went around there and such and then went to city link mall again to just explore the shopping centre.

rohanii found a nice wallet that she couldnt stop thinking of and she bought it.
i wanted to buy a wallet too. this really nice red -sexy wallet. lols.
buttt no new set. sad-ed then didnt buy lorr. hahax.

went to cotton on and found this really nice long sleeve button down shirt.
which was only at 15 but unfortunately there was only M size and superbly big.

then we both decided to go to JP instead.
thinking of buying the wallet at John Little.
same situation, no new set. haiish.

then went to cotton on and found the same long sleeve shirt but this time they have S size! wheee~ and i bought it at $15!

thenn i went to look for another two more dresses at $16 for both at dakra.
unfortunately one cant fit. sad-ed
oh well at least one is only at $8.

then went to Talisman and bought belt + two sets of bangles for $10.
love the bangles la. very veryy attractive! lols.

so yeap ive spent $15+16+10 = $41 ++ -on food and such
phewww and so here i am broke. lols!
but great fun. love the bangles!

03june10
which is finallyy today.
and its gonna be tmr in 1 hour time. lols!

oh yeah today my plan was to ask darling accompany me study for mst.
so i dont miind travelling to woodlands just to meet up with him.
to save his transport fare. seee im such a good gf! *mmuackx!* lols!

anyways i was halfway going to civics centre, he called up change of plan.
he wants me to accompany him to Eunos for job fair.
we took 966 from woodlands and it was the longest ride this year with him cause it was jam-ing. lols. so we took pictures!

hmm yeap and in the bus we talk and take pictures and reached Eunos at nearly 12 or 1 plus? had our lunch then went to the community centre. and it was super sunny la and darling kept complaining hot hot. *mmuuackx!* hahax!

reached the CC and we saw a lot of people so we decided to leave it and went to walk to geylang and get drinks from 711 and took 51 to PSA building.
as again bus rides are always fun.

reached PSA building, darling filled up form and took 30 home.
and in bus 30 darling introduce me to that YANK song and PESONA song!
im in love with yank so much and ive been repeating the song in my itune for 22 times. lols!

even the youtube is cute!and i wonder why issit yank why not yang as in the shortform of sayang. or they type wrongly? oh well.
im in love with it now!

alriigghhtt.
i have such a wonderful day.
im tired.
and i have to study for icd.
two more papers to finish.

shit! MST ON MONDAY!
fwt! i havent even start studying! *dies*
lols.

oh well! nitex!

and the feeling of love like how it was when we first stead is the same feeling that i am feeling now. carefree and no arguments.
i really hope this relationship works.
and we wont argue anymore. i hope we could continue that *mmuackx* thing.
it really helps to cool down the other party fast. hehex!

nittee!

iPHONE!

2010-05-29T22:36:00.003+08:00

yay-ness to iphone.
finally got my hands on one.
but sadly. heavy heavy bill per month :[

oh well.
im glad i had one & am loving it.

haish.
other than iphone, im not really in a good mood today.
i just dont feel happy today.
externally i look happy.
internally i dont.

idk what happened to darling.
i just rmbr something. he once shouted at me while we were together
and i just break down.
and he went over and hug me and told me he is sorry for shouting.

how i wish he would do the same thing now.
sometimes i cant even differentiate which is shouting which is not.

his voice. loud. and its like angry.
its like shouting.
when i ask, he said it isnt.
how confusing am i.

dad on to janji padamu just now.
i immediately got into tears.
those lyrics.
you once sang it to me.
and it was the most wonderful thing you did for me.

things arent the same now i guess.
i hate changes real bad.

i wish we could just stay happy always.
or stay happy like how we were in our first 6 months.

no arguments.
no blaming of each other.

i dont mean to keep saying ure wrong everytime.
its just that, issit hard to text your gf? im sure it takes hardly 5 minutes to text isnt it?

for a while, i believe that you can live without texting me for a day and im hardly important to you anymore.
i kept it to myself and told its okay.

but i was angry and hurt and i wish you could comfort me.

yes you said im being hypersensitive.
yes its nearing to that "time-of-the-month"
but at one point, i dont think its because of the "time-of-the-month"
its more because im needing u more and more everyday.
how i wish you feel the same way too.

long dots after each messages i sent.
i was hoping you would ask, "are you okay?"
but you just continue as if it is per normal....

what is happening huh?

haish.

i saw this at fb, it was my friend's status.
"he couple that fights the most is the one most in love. It shows they care enough to notice the other one screwed up and care enough to mention it to the person
so they can fix it. When you stop fighting, it means you stopped caring. :)"

how i wish this is true....

urgh

2010-05-25T22:38:00.002+08:00

walao. today arh. super irritating.

went to Bugis with darling today.
and the irritating thing was that I have like 30 bucks to spend on dresses/blouses
but! i couldnt even find neting that really catches my eye.

i am very sad-ed
although i saw this bag that ive been wanting to buy for quite sometime.
thenn i kept thinking, "should i buy should i buy shoul i buy?"
and end up i walked away.
so sad-eeedddd laaaaa

thennn.
went to This Fashion also.
walao no nice blouses.
got money no nice clothes
no money have nice clothes
ish..

hmmm.
then me and darling talked about our relationship.
haish i really feel we are breaking apart because we seems to be arguing almost everyday.
haish love.
i know i couldnt be your good gf because I was unable to support you in the things you do.

its a link
no support = no good gf.

sorry for not being able to trust you fully.
im afraid watever that happened in the pass might happen again.

seriously said
i dont want to find some better guy.
because i know no one can tahan my jealousy-ness for so long.

i try my best to support you love.
but it all depends on what.

i really love you ridzman.
dont ever think of leaving me.
cause it will ~~bloody~~ hurt.

good girlfriend

2010-05-24T20:01:00.003+08:00

you told me something that I really dont wish to hear.

okay maybe I asked you. "Do u think I am a gd gf?"
and you replied, "i dont think a gud gf exist"
haish.

for almost 16 months and you feel that Im not even a gud gf to you?

thats really heartbreaking for me love.
why did you even say that?
could it be because you were sleepy?

gud gf = no arguments
isnt that supposed to be good?
so whats ur criteria of a gd gf? and you said you didnt know.

in the morning.
went to school
and was kinda moody? no, more like sad?

i would love to be a gud gf to you.
but i guess im never good enuf to be call a gud gf.

if perfect gf doesnt exist? yes i couldnt agree more.
but a gud gf doesnt exist too?

ill do neting for you and you told me that.
i wish you could make me feel better love.
i really wish you could.

my final decision.

2010-05-17T22:33:00.006+08:00

what a day.

you know i dont wanna to leave you love.
i cant. and i wouldnt.

i want to be hurt and sad.
just so i am by your side. just so you are still my boyfriend.

find someone else?
that is just not the best option for me.
find someone better that could make me happier?
yes its true. first 6 months of a relationship makes you feel like your in heaven.
but what about after that? what if my new guy breaks my heart?
im supposed to let him go and find another?
if thats the case, it will never end.

but i chose not to leave you.
because i do not want to start over with someone else.
i just wanna be with you, ridzman.

went to talked at some garden.
i told you everything that was killing me inside.
everything that you deserves to know.

yes you are not the one to be blame entirely.
i know im at fault too by asking you some questions just at the wrong time.

when you told me to leave you.. just for a little while.
i cry. and cry and i couldnt control any of my tears anymore.

you kept quiet because u were feeling lost.
you didnt want me to suffer with you.
you didnt want me to be sad because of you.
you didnt want to be selfish.

but the hurt and the sadness i will be feeling if i were to leave you is much more worst than all those darling.

knowing you were there beside me when i cry soothe me.
knowing you too feel the hurt.

you then decided. i shall not leave you.
cause i wouldnt want to stop this relationship.
just for a little while or not, its just not gona happen.

you told me yes i dont have to leave you.
but studies first than bf.
because for you, family then gf.

fine.
if thats what you want.
ill do it just so long im still your gf and we are still together.

haish love.
please dont ever think of leaving anymore.
i dont even know if i can sleep properly tonight.

thinking about this when i got back from school, got me super tired + chest pain.
haish.
please let me sleep tonight....

and ill do neting ridzman.
to keep this relationship going.

ive been a sucker gf for the past week for not knowing what was happening.
but this week. i promise ill be a better gf and make your life a little better.

15 months of a relationship is just far too long to be ending right now.
i dont want this to ever end love.

please have faith in this relationship that we shared.

the relationship that i didnt even know would be this far.
knowing how we both met and fell in love without even seeing each other.

lets keep this relationship going.
lets keep this strong.

seeing you smile and laugh made my heart felt better before i left.
after that, i kept thinking about what you've said.

and my final decision. i wouldnt leave you. i couldnt.
because i just love you too much..

ICD

2010-05-17T12:28:00.002+08:00

I am in ICD lecture right now and I am super bored.
and my head hurts

and i pass my fwt test XD

yay-ness

i guess im done here
shall blog again if i got something to blog about.
i am so sleepy.

csm test later. huhu :[
meeting darling later.
i hope its a better day between us today.

bows at raiinbowkrafts?

2010-05-16T20:58:00.003+08:00

tomorrow i got test :[

FWT & CSM test.
Im more scared about FWT.
Im so not familiar with the ACLs and such :S

bleh.
i dono what to blog now.

oh yeah.
yesterday i made this bow hairband & i love it damn lots la!
hahax!

and i actually made some other cute bows and with different color ones.
i think ill put it up in raiinbowkrafts somedays.

oh and raiinbowkrafts still alive
do please support ya? XD

dowan.

2010-05-13T22:56:00.002+08:00

i dowan work nemore. kay.

im sick.
im not well yet.

i dont like to work in an environment where it makes me dread to go to work.

yes i miss working at fno.
because i always felt excited to go work.
although yes some people suck.

but knowing that when u reach there, people there like:
ms lathifahh
maisarah
shiqa
fandi
hazreel
aly
firhin
and some others

makes u smile greatly :]]

people like hazreel only! will disturb u like hell
but even so, the guys always know how to make the place kecoh to the max!

shit i miss them lots la!
huhu.

and i dowan work anymore.

i should start bucking up my gpa.
suckish gpa last sem.

hey i didnt skip lessons nemore sia this few days.
darling been super strict with me :[
i dont like.

okay i just skip a whole day lesson to be at home sleeping to fully recover from being sick.
thats not counted right!

been having fever for the past 3 days.
sucks totally to the max.

im still feeling weak though.
oh well.

i think im off to bed now.
nitex :]]

PS:i cant wait to go shopping with sistaaa lathifah next wed!
shop till we drop! woo hoooo!

alright. nitex!

injections

2010-05-09T22:58:00.004+08:00

got my typhoid injections today.
its been 8 years since i last had my injections.

p6.
some injection. that got me crying. lols!

today is another day where i get another injections.
shit it does hurts.
not badly. but since im very manje-ish.
i kept huhu. paiin :[[ hahax!

thanks to the injection. i got flu right now.
and i havent study for fwt quiz tmr.
haish please dont let me screw up my gpa!

alright all i need to do now is lie down.
im tired.
stupid flu.
and
huhu :[ my left arm pain :[[

work on wednesday afternoon.
supposingly meet raymond ho at 12.
work at 1.
so cant make it for sure.
shit i have to change the meeting to another day.

and shit i havent got anything started for fyp.
haish :[[

oh mum.
alhamdullilah ure getting better.
happy mother day to u.

ive tried my best to do laundry for the past two days.
although i know i can never keep up with ur standard. lols.

sorry i cant cook for u.
i still suck badly for that.
but all in all. i do anything for u.

it hurts me to see u sick so badly.
i cried while i was massaging ur head.
but i didnt dare to show that i cried.

i love you mum.
thanks for taking care of me :]
although sometimes u always disagree with my spenditures on clothes and shoes.lols.

do get much much better.
i miss your cooking already :[

happy mother's day.

to darling;
sorry if im being a terrible gf to u.
i dont mean to make us argue.
i just dont like to be treated like as if im just like anybody else.
i dont like it if you dont care about how im feeling.
and be moody as and when u like.
yes ure having problems.
but i dont want that problems to affect our relationship.

u didnt even said ily today.
which keep me wondering. do u still love me?
haish :[[

im truly sorry love.
i love u.
i dont care about how i am right now.
just so you could be better :]

imy.
ily... lots.

i wish im pretty.

2010-05-07T21:56:00.003+08:00

hahx.
i kinda miss my long hair :[[

anw.
i havent been blogging.
thanks to the icd assignment that have been keeping me busy with the designs and codings.

and i have to work + school + family + boyfriend + close friends

school only waa cmi.
monday got fwt quiz
wed need show some ideas put on visual basic liao.
icd proposal week 5 due.

work
need get injections. SHIT LA!
then sunday work 1 till 5
need to cramp my brain with more things.

omg.
crazy sia.

no work.no money.
dead.

got money no time shopping.
stupid fyp.
stupid assignment.
stupid quiz.
urgh.

first day at mc cafe today.
im like so blur.
hahax.

i was just asked to wash and clean tables.
and i realised something.
why do i always start a new job on a friday?
lols.

so yeap.
my lovable sis; Lathifahh dropped by and bought some drinks that she have fallen in love with it. hahax!
sorry love cant make u drinks yet. next time kayy XD

thennn supposingly to meet up with haz and fandi to talk at fno.

thennnn.
haz went.
so after work i got nothing to do.
ask haz to join me and fandi have dinner.
then haz met his friend.

then i told haz to wait at the same place while i go change clothes.
thanks to him, after i went out to toilet.
i couldnt find him newhere!

so i was panicky.
thanks to my phone for dying on me in time when i need it the most.
then i saw this pakcik who walks around jp, somewhat like security guard arh.
then i always talk with him when i was working at fno.

then i told him can i borrow his phone to call up fandi.
and i didnt even remember his number.
and i dial randomly.
as i was trying, he appeared.
lols.

and we went to meet haz and his friend at basement.
andd we went to banquet to eat.
then talk2.
haz and his friend went off.
so left me and fandi.
so we both ate dinner.

yeap.
darling please dont get me wrong.
me and fandi tkde ape2.
he was just accompany-ing me to eat.

so yeap.
what a day.
got home and got scolded.
thanks dad.
thats not the way to ask about my day.

tomorrow getting injections.
please please let it be less painful.

alright
im done.
kinda tired.
what a day.

nitex.
and darling still not back from work yet -.-

quit job

2010-05-04T17:00:00.002+08:00

yes i quit my job at FNO last Sunday.
just that i havent got the time to blog.
because of the anger and hatred that i was feeling.
which cause me quite a bad chest pain =.=

it sucks there big time.
WHAT HAPPENED TO TEAM WORK AND HELP EACH OTHER?
YOU THINK YOU GOING TO BE SUPERVISOR, YOU CAN JUST SIMPLY ORDER PEOPLE AROUND.
EH SORRY LA HOR. YOU ARE NOT A SUPERVISOR YET! GOING TO BE DOESNT MEAN ALREADY AM!
YOU ARE STILL WEARING THE SERVICE CREW UNIFORM THAT MEANS U STILL WORK TOGETHER.
U STUPID OR WAT?
I BET YOU CANT EVEN TIE YOUR OWN TIE! HAHX

AND SO WHAT? SUPERVISOR CANT DO NETING ISSIT?
JUST SIT THERE AND LOOK AT GIRLS AND FLIRT AROUND?
THATS JUST PLAIN BSHIT OKAY!
AND NOW EVEN WHEN U ARE NOT A SUPERVISOR YET, I CAN SEE FAVOURISM.

FK YOU THINK THIS IS UR COUNTRY ARH.
GO BACK HOME LA TO YOUR WIFE AND KIDS.
YOU ARE JUST WASTING THE RESOURCES IN SINGAPORE.
YOU THINK U RULE THIS PLACE?
YOU THINK YOU ARE VERY SMART?
YOU THINK YOU ARE ALWAYS RIGHT?

THEN THATS WHY I DECIDED TO JUST LEAVE FNO
BECAUSE OF PEOPLE LIKE U, WHO COULDNT SPEAK PROPER ENGLISH EVEN,
DONT STAND A CHANCE TO WORK HERE IN SPORE.

AND OH ANOTHER ONE THREATEN US?
NOT GONNA PAY OUR SALARY?

FINE.
ITS OKAY.
WE CAN JUST SUE YOU AND THE PLACE WILL JUST COME CLOSING DOWN.
AND YOU AND UR DOG FRIEND CAN JUST GO BACK HOME AND ROT.
WE SINGAPOREANS DONT NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU.

URGH.
FRUSTRATED!

metallic yellow-ish

2010-05-01T20:18:00.004+08:00

i seriously dont know what making me super tired.
might be because of yesterday.

yesterday.
went to meet with Mr Raymond regarding the fyp.
fyp really.. URGH la okay!
we have no slightest idea on how to even start after the meeting with the people in charge at the Dyselexia place.
after the meeting with them, me isaac and minli were like totally lost.
and were in the verge of giving up.
and not forgettting, we were utterly demoralised!

thennn yesterday, went to meet Raymond and talk about how to start and such.
and got to know we have to do learn Visual Studio.net :[

another annoying programming.
i really hope its better than java la hor? lols.

hmm thenn after meeting raymond, we went to library to look at books regarding Visual Studio.net. hmm it still looks like some java-ish programming :S

hmm then after that went to eat lunch with minli at fc3.

after that went to find the person for the adobe suite.
so end up we stayed there till 430. more like i stayed till 430.

went to take the train to work.
actually i thought i might be late.
but i reached jurong point in like 15-20 minutes :S

lols.
then went to fno, chat with my love sisterr lathifah and shiqa xD
at about 5 plus then only i decided to change my uniforms.
then i slowly do workkk..

hmm.
all in all, yesterday was pretty crowd.
but it was a great night with shahfandi,firhin,maisara & aiza

went home at nearly 11 plus :S
reached home and i realised i was too tired to sleep.
so i went online and went to finish off my site installation & look thru at the practicals and somewhat i felt super sleepy. lols.

so yeap.
the next morning (which is today), i woke up and i felt super super weak.
my body still ache real bad :S

so yeap.
went to abg's house today.
celebrated siti's 6th birthday.
went to eat at f&o with mum and dad. lols

and i finally tried bullwinkle chocolate la!
i kept making drinks for people but i never had the chance to try! lols.

alright. i guess im done with blogging.
ohs and i colored my nails today :]] love it!

metallic yellow-ish color

alright.
i have to do my icd practical :]]

things to do:
#1 print all icd presentation slides lecture.
#2 bind icd presentation slides lecture.
#3 finish off practical two.
#4 Do designs for Portfolio page & feedback page.
#5 continue with proposal.
#6 start doing codings?

i fell in love with ....

2010-04-28T21:39:00.003+08:00

OMG I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS PHONE!

SAMSUNG I9000 GALAXY

ITS NOT EVEN IN SINGAPORE YET!
OMG OMG

IM GETTING THIS PHONE butt!
at the end of the year.

please please please let the price drop at the end of the year at least

i think im gonna stop shopping for shoes and really start saving for other things.
like handphone & better handphone plans
and a better psp maybe.
dad dont let me buy rockband :[[ sad-ed.

that phone or this Samsung i5700 galaxy spica?

hmmmm.
but i still love SAMSUNG I9000 GALAXY!
android (eclair) with 5mp camera!
Coming soon. Exp. release 2010, 2Q

AAAAA. I LOVE YOU SAMSUNG I9000 GALAXY!

ohs and darling.
i love you more! XD

happy 15 month anniversary love!
ill always love you :]]

alright enuf about phones.
gonna continue back to icd proposal.

f&o with Rohanii & Darliing

2010-04-26T21:38:00.003+08:00

omg im feeling super tired.
and i have no freaking idea why!

lesson on monday morning is as usual.
i didnt fall asleep in class or neting today.

prac.lunch.lect.tutorial.
fwt.lunch.icd.csm

after csm, went to meet rohani at fc5.
and then went to meet darling at Platform.

ohs and darling suprise me with this watch that we both have been eyeing for quite some time.
he showed me his watch and then i told him, "eh you buy! you didnt buy for me!!"

and so he took out a packet and gave it to me!
he bought me a yellow one while his one is black xD

it was meant to replace this watch that we had last year.
which i rmbr was during my itp.
the side knobs(?) all went missing -.-

so yeap he bought for me this really cute yellow watch!
and i love it!

took train to Jp
and we had our lunch at f&o.
i had fish and chips, darling had classic chix bbq pasta while rohani had creme mushroom.
darling and i shared rootbeer float xD

we took quite a lot of pics :D
im waiting for rohanii to upload them!

then after we are done eating, we went to adjust our watches.
at least darling one is quite bad? cause its like super lose.
but if i were to use the watch, i can simply take it out without even opening up the straps?
its like another bangle of mine. lols.

so yeap. here are our watches!

and we actually SYNCHRONISE our time!
so that we wont blame each other for having different timings when either of us are late. lols.

ohs and darling lied to me today.
he told me he going bukit batok to meet his aunt to send some stuffs.
when actually he went to jp to get that watch.
that is purely sweet <3
he lied just to suprise me.

it reminds me of the time that i went to jp to get him a watch. at that same shop!
and then rush to SDC to meet him for lunch at BK.
that was just super long ago!
darling was still in CD at that time.
hahax. it was like.. 12 months ago? :S

such great memories.
still fresh in my mind :D

darling left after we synchronise our watch.
me and rohani walk around and look at shoes and stuffs xD

yeapp i had such a wonderful day.
being able to hug and hold two people i love.
lols.

yeap im tired.
i think im gonna head to bed soon.
after i download my practical stuffs for icd tmr.

yeapp.
done.
nitex!

lost thumbdrive -.-

2010-04-25T22:34:00.002+08:00

shit okay.
i lost my thumbdrive.

i cant rmbr where i place it.
i could have left it somewhere at home.
or i might have dropped it while im in the bus home from school -.-
wth am i being superbly careless?

and why are thumbdrive so small.
lols you cant have a big thumb right :S
okay that makes sense.

neways.
i finish copying a 44 page presentation slides for Topic A for Firewall technologies.
i really hope i will keep up with this notes writing all year long.
i seriously need to buck up my gpa back to 3 point something something.

at least cumulative gpa.

this year.
i shall not skip lessons TOO MUCH!

okay i will skip some lessons like some lectures.
but only to be out with darling.

only on his birthday and some really special occasions.
like maybe a great movie.

oh i wanna watch IRON MAN 2
can we watch it darling?
hahax!

hmmm..

what else.

oh yeah.
was working just now in the morning.
got to get an hour more of sleep.

work starts at 9 am today.
and i have freaking learn my lesson.

even so i come early.
i am never going to come and start arranging the things
mr SJ came and he put his bag and went to toilet.
by the time he come back, everything is done.
and he doesnt have to do a single thing.

wtf is wrong with helping? -.-
damn lazy ass.

im so freaking pissed off today la
where got people mop floor with normal tap water?
and he did that and claim that the dirt is gone -.-

waaa i was so pissed off with him.
i went to the toilet and sat at the toilet bowl to cool myself down.zzzz

then at 10 plus shahfandi and hazreel came.
at least they could make the place more lively.
alyssyah came at 11 and yeap it was better :D

then it wasnt a busy crowd today.
manageable one.

but just tired. and idk why.

me shahfandi and hazreel punch out at 330
but we waited for alyssyah to finish at 4.

in the meanwhile, we help around.
miss JL asked me to stay till 530 and i kept saying no.

shit la cause my shoe can finally speak.
it has a wonderful big mouth at the front -.-
annoying shit.

after we all get our food,we sat and talk.
and we laugh real lots.
lols

after eaten, we decided to walk around at Jp.
shahfandi wanted to find something
while i wanted to find a replacement shoe.

but he cant find what he wants.
and i cant find a cheap 10 dolar black flats.
i dont dare buy rubi shoes for work nemore.
lols.

it was a hectic & chaotic day with shahfandi, hazreel and alyssyah.
we laugh real lots and we were just afraid if we might get kick out of the shop :X
lols.

and i think its gonna be like this every single sunday :S

sooo yeapp.
i guess im done now.
and here's what i copied from my msn with alyssyah:

Alyssyah says (10:48 PM):
hahahah
twenty still young eh
i think u dun look ur age cos u laugh a lot
Alyssyah says (10:49 PM):
then u look much younger
♥riidzliin|| you are the only exception♥ says (10:49 PM):
hahax yeahh i guess so arhh
Alyssyah says (10:49 PM):
it's good actually
♥riidzliin|| you are the only exception♥ says (10:49 PM):
so laughing is a good anti aging
hahax!
Alyssyah says (10:50 PM):
hahah yeah

and so anti aging perfect solution is to laugh alot.
lols!

alright la im done.
im getting super tired.
mann monday morning are the hardest!

glad darling is getting better :D
and he suprised me with a 7 pages message at 2 am :S
lols.

thanks love.
i love it.
and i love you!
niiiteexx!

first week of school + two days of work + get well soon darling ridzman

2010-04-23T22:54:00.002+08:00

first week of school has ended.
like super fast arh?

okay here are the modules that:

# i love : ICD!

# i hate : Tech & CSM

# neutral: FWT & FYP

yeap.
icd is fun cause its webdesigning.
bad things is that i have to use dad's computer.
my netbook doesnt have external cd drive and its very sad-ed.
ohs and frames suck.

technoprenuership (or however it is spelt) is really sucks.
the teacher keep talking on the first lesson and im like super falling asleep :X

csm is another suckish module.
because its twice a week -.-
but only 4 credit module.

hmm thenn fwt & fyp.
erms fwt is similar to netp.

fyp is good cause of fyp, i have no class today!

so i went to work today :D
$6 per hour.
i dont wanna miss ittt!
lols.

work from 1030 to 1730 today xD
that makes it. 7 hours * 6 per hour = $42
i can so get that bag! LOLS.

i only work on thursday night & friday.
yesterday night was fun.
was only 4 people, me, shahfandi, maisarah and aziz.
then aziz left.

so left the three of us
and it was chaotic.
we eat and crap at the same time. Lols.

todayy i finish at 1730,
shiqa full day, then i cant really eat properly cause people keep walking infront of me while im eating.
and people refers to shahfandi & maisarah and some other people.
lols.

next day of work will be sunday morning xD
9 am till 330 :D

so yeap.
all in all.
4 days of school + 3 days of work = perfect week :D

oh yeah
darling super sick :(
its my fault.
cause i told him, "abe u tak saket?"

then the next day he sick :(
im truly sorry love.

please get well.
i dont want anything to happen to you. :(

im sorry love.

flu

2010-04-19T21:52:00.002+08:00

shit la im having this terrible flu...

and we've been arguing like straight the last few nights all over again?
idk whats the cause of us arguing.
idk why did we even start an argument?

i hate changes.
you very well know that.

you were not like you used to be.
yes i know changes happens but its like i dont wish it to happen now.

it was just when u started that job.
yes i wasnt a supportive girlfriend.
yes i hate your job real bad..

you changed after u start that job.
sometimes i entirely hate myself for blaming u for everything.

because sometimes its my fault.
not yours.

i love you ridzman.
i really do.

all i want now is us to be better and better everyday.
not worst okay....

omg school?

2010-04-18T22:24:00.002+08:00

omg tomorrow start school?
i so cant believe it!

i have to back studying
studies + projectwork + boyfriend + family + work = madness
madness - shopping = happy! :D

hahax okay lame. i know.

im so tired but i dont feel like sleeping so earlyy.
went to work in the morning just now.
and i start work at 8 arh!
and i slept at 12 am :S
that makes i only have about 7 hours of sleep.
damn sleepy arh while i was at work.

no customers.
then im like super bored.
shiqa came at 1015, then shahfandi and hazreel came and then nazree
then only i felt brighten up.

thanks to hazreel who NON-STOP ASK ME TO PRONOUNCE S! URGH!

thenn work was normal.
all of us went off at 330.
Lathifah came and meet me after work xD

we decided to go jalan2 at jurong point.

and after i punch out and took my bag, she practically pull me away so that Hazreel wont follow.
end uppp, he followed and we went to have lunch together at Mcdonalds instead.
me, lathifah, shahfandi and hazreel.

after we eat, we walked around at jp. just me and lathifah.
we finally got rid of hazreel. lols!

and miss siti noor lathifah have make me jealous today!

she bought this pink dress! and im so jealous!
i cant buy it! and stupid i havent got my 22.50 pay -.-
and what im gonna do is to make her jealous!
and that is to buy that $19.90 bag in yellow!
she wanted black. but its okay. hahax. still same pattern!
so she will be jealooouuuss! wahahaha!

so yeap we walked around and window shopping and was looking at shoes!
similar to her dress! and im gonna get the shoes first!
hahax!!
okay im mad

and she is even mad-er
cause i have polluted her mind with shoes :X
hahax!

alright!
done here.
i have to go sleep now.
tomorrow have to wake up at 6++ :(

working only on thursday night and weekends morning :D

i hope i get my pay like fast
that cute yellow somewhat-vintage bag!
im gona buyyyyy uuuu!!

thanks lathifah for the day xD

shopping with mum!

2010-04-13T21:39:00.003+08:00

went out with mum today instead.
rohani wasnt feeling well.
its okay dear xD next time kayy!
when im not working that is. hehex!

oh yeah i brought mum to Bugis today!
lols.

when we reached we went to eat at Raffles Hospital Banquet.
then went to Arab St to find dad's things.
then went to Bugis street to find MY clothes! lols.

and i bought one cute white dress & one cute yellow dress!
which is absolutely love!
i could soo match it with my yellow heels! lols!

hmm.
theen i bought one black watch.
and so i spent $20 today.

i rather work than spending my money :S

anddd oh yeah went to BHG after that and mum bought shoes.
and i got to wear her shoes cause my wonderfull lovable heels;

cause me MISERABLE pain on my feet! lols.

LESSON LEARN :
NEVER WEAR HEELS WHEN GOING SHOPPING!

lols.

hmmm
i wrote down my timetable in my book today and i see that im kinda excited for school and idk why.
well im still thinking of working even when school starts.

and thanks dad for starting to pressuring me -.-
"this year last year, blaja betul2. jgn nk sebok keje je" =.=

hmm.. i guess nothing for now..

sorry i argued with you again.
haish i felt like im the worst girlfriend uve ever had.
and when i told u that, u dont like it.

im not your best girlfriend; neither am i the worst.
doesnt that put me the same as your other ex gfs?

7 days straight!

2010-04-12T20:48:00.004+08:00

today is the 13th day at work.
and im stuck doing bar again same as yesterday.
well not really stuck.
i like doing bar!

ohs and its been 7 days straight i work since last mondayy :S

and the times when im free, i get to talk with everyone including the chefs!
hahax.

theennnn.
tomorrow im having off day!
and also wednesday!

im going out with Rohanii tomorrow xD
and maybe going out with her again on Wednesday to Bugis?
i soo need to buy clothes! hahax

oh yeah!
after work just now, went to walk around with latifah xD
then she bought brooch and i bought heels!

i cant help it arh!
its black with strappy2 at the front and thenn the heels is pink xD
really cute arh!
i bought it from Mondo and its $9.90!
hahax!

alrriiighhhtt!
im donne noowww!
hahax. its just been quite sometimes i didnt blog.
so yeapp.
short one.

oh yeah.
i kinda love my timetable :D

except for the part that i have to wake up at 8 for 4 days :s
and i can only work from thursday to sunday.

oh well.
off now :D

imy real bad :(
and its not fair that i couldnt meet you once a week anymore!

youre having ur off day when im not.
and im having my off days when you're not!

sorry for being a stubborn stubborn gf to you.

sorry for keep asking to meet you often.
i mean whats wrong if i asked that.
its just that i ask at the wrong time i guess.

i would love to spend the whole day with you again.
like how we used to. haish..

and i dont want anyone to be spending more time with you than i do.
(other than your family which are fine with me)
and i dont wish to feel the same way too...

2010-04-09T12:14:00.001+08:00

immm feelling soo sleeppyyyyy.

yesterday work night shift
and so is tonight.

idk what to blog actually.
lols. i just wanna waster space.

hahax.
okay bye

i hope to be prepared for night later.
for sure gonna be a lot of people :S

OFF

2010-04-05T21:55:00.003+08:00

todayy i took my new specs!

i kinda love it cause its small with black frames!
same withh darliing!

Darliing's specs are transition while mine is multi-coatedd :D

here's the pic!

hmmm.
so yeapp.
nothing else already.

and i finally set my mind to invest my money on an organiser.
lols!
ive been wanting to buy!

ohs and i saw this black heels from giovanna at $15
mannn im so tempted to get it!Lols

newaysss
i have to work tomorrow morning.

&& hmm i wonderr am i advertising my blogshop enough?
those who read my blog and comes across my blogshop.
please do spread the word for me yea?
real great thanks!

sundayyyyy

2010-04-04T21:10:00.004+08:00

i had to work today early morninggg

and it rained la!
how i wish i could continue sleepiiing!

andd i thought i was late today.
i woke up at 715 and im supposed to be at work at 8 :S

but as usual, im always the first one to reach xD

today was okay;
no cerewet customers.

met another gal today.
Syahirah. and she is really very funny!

here's our conversation:
me: "where are u schooling?"
syirah: "nak masuk sp"
me: "ohs im from sp too"
syirah:"really? then you going for the malay camp?"
me: "oh tk arh"
syirah:"ouhx ala.."
me: "hmm actually im your senior"
syirah:"really? whats ur age?"
me: "20 this year"
*HER MOUTH ACTUALLY OPEN REAL WIDE!*
syirah:"YOU DONT LOOK 20!!"

i was like. lols? she is the 3rd person i met there that said the exactly same thing!

hmm i wonder do i really look that youngg? :S
great!

okay sometimes i think i am!
most of them working there are like 17/18 and they are much much taller than i am!

mann whyy am i shoorttt!
Lols!

ohsss and do please support my blogshop!
ive just opened a blogshopp
pleaseee do give me some support kiex!

RAIINBOWKRAFT

so yeappp xD
havee fuuunnn!

i wish i was at work

2010-03-31T12:53:00.004+08:00

how i wish i am at work.

i had a full day yesterday.
and i ended up doing bar the whole day.

it really sucks arh.
if the normal drinks are so fun to do.
but those cerewet ones. damn irritating :S

thenn although doing bar is an "quite" easy job.
i ended spending more time wiping and washing and standing around.

at the end of the full day shift, i feel like i couldnt use my heels.
i could only walk tip toe!

my "tumit" feels like its super sore!
its like swollen!

as now,
i wish i could be at work.
so i could walk around more and it makes my time goes faster.
rather than now im at home and ive got nothing much else to do.
so im pretty much superbly bored!

and im used to getting hungry and after 330 only ill be eating.
and now im at home and i didnt feel hungry as much anymore.
if i keep up this way, i think ill lose weight! lols!

i wish i could get my library pay tmr!
i wanna goo shopping.
ohs and today i counted my shoes!
i got 34 pairs of shoes :X
and i realised i have more flats now!
nooo wayyy!

i bought a really nice printed black flats from Rubi yesterday before i go to work.
i told myself
"today im gonna work whole day, so im gonna treat myself to a nice pair of flats before i go to work :D"

so yeap.
im finally on my own Toshiba Lappy today. :D
wanna clear things out from here XD

alright.
im done blogging.

i shall take naps later xD

3rd day of work

2010-03-28T19:45:00.003+08:00

yay its the third day of work and i survived!

two morning shifts & one night shifts.
tmr night shifts again & tuesday whole day.

alright.
i wanna play bs :D

first day of fig&olive-ing

2010-03-26T19:45:00.002+08:00

first day and yes im superbly tired.

i didnt even took any orders today.
just send in orders and such.

tmr i have to work from 530 till 1030pm.
im scared really.
what if i heard the wrong order or something.
mannnn im so tired la!

nothing to blog about actually.
gotta restt early tonight and sleep more tmr afternoon.
lols.

URGH

2010-03-24T20:05:00.003+08:00

im having chest pain. again and again and again.
and it doesnt seem to be gone very easily.

i see something on ur fb and i asked.
who is that?
and u said its ur NCCC gals.

seriously
im so damn pissed of for being jealous.

im trying my best to not be jealous
but it hurts so much.

please understand.
if u dont understand me then no one will.

its damn frustrating.

it must be something u said to them
thats what making them suddenly write something in ur wall right?

shit la.
im so damn frustrated.
idk who im supposed to be angry with
you or me or them.

urgh.
cant they not be pretty?

urghhh.......
i really wish ure here....

i feel like breaking down so badly.........

date with darling♥

2010-03-23T21:25:00.004+08:00

finally;

i get to meet up with darling after like 2 weeks?
okay 2 weeks can make me go crazy :S

anyways;
seriously im so not in the mood to wake up.
stupid menses cramps got me in the morning.

but thinking that i don't know when else i can meet darling,
so i just got up, bath, got ready and took some pink panadols.
(that never fails to make me vomit out water+panadol. EWW!)

so got ready took train to Jurong East and met darling at 51 bus stand.

hmm while we were in the bus,
i felt like he was afraid to hold me or touch me.
i felt like its been too long since he last hold me.
so we continue talking as the rain were downpour-ing heavily.

we listened to songs on my ipod.
and talked and smile and we soon started to lean on each other.

yes we were both sleepy and hungry at the same time :S
so our mood were switched to the hyper-active MODE

we actually took bus 51 accidentally
soo we dropped off at Central and walked all the way to Clarkquay Banquet.
which i think its very far.

darling introduced me to "his friends". uncle Jon & Pak Ali.
they were some statues along the way. and i kept telling darling, "eh Pak Ali ade tongkat? you should get them tau? Good for u!" LOLS

soo at Banquet, we were both hungry.
i ate Ban Mian while darling ate some Tom Yam Soup thingy.
(which i tasted was SPICY!)

we talked "business" about the sewing2 things.
he thinks that i should start selling them. its gonna be a good business.
and he gave me an idea to try doing a customised lanyard,with his name; for him.
hmmm. im reconsidering about it. just need ideass.. hmmmmmm.
colors: red+black+blue...

neways after we are done eating, we decided to go to Esplanade
yeap its like going back from where we were and walk much much further.

we walked at the Merlion Walk too.
and we took pics there.
the sun was too bright. happy for darling because of his TRANSITION LENSES.
he kept saying. "its dark eh? i didnt realise" Lols.

sometimes i think he loves his transition specs more! hahax!

theenn we walked merlion park to esplanade.
thenn it was fun arh. hottt seriously.
from esplanade, we walked to singapore flyer.
seriously its again super far. but we managed to make it shorter distance because we both kept talking and disturbing each other; harshly.

then from Singapore flyer. it was super cool. cause it was the neared view ive ever get to the whole thing.
the last time we took with the picture of the flyer was last year on darling's birthday.

so yeap.
how i wish he would bring me there someday XD

hmm.. from flyer.
we walked all the way back to Marina Square.

seriously i think i lose a like 1kg++ or so from walking so far away.
ohs and to go to marina Square, we have to like walk this really high slope.
so damn reminds me of Hilltop :S

reached Marina Square,
we decided to cool ourself down with a nice cup of chocolatey+sweety chocolate milkshake
seriously i think i could get diabetic if i drink that often :X

after we had our chocolatey+sweety chocolate milkshake; we decided to walk around Marina Square.
really its a nice place. lots of shops and such.
stopped by at arcade and play a few shooting games XD

thenn.
after that we thought of going Funan; buttt somethings happened.
we were kinda arguing :X
shhesh. what a day to argue.

we took 166 to SP.
dad asked me to buy food for him!

in 166 we kinda argue again.
urgh.

sorry darling. it was seriously my fault.
i really shouldnt have been attitude towards u.
promise it wont happen again.

reached school bought food and walked and again we've been playfully joking with each other; harshly.
seriously i hate to gurau gurau kasar with you.

thenn stopped by at clementi after that.
walked and took bus home.
kinda argued again!

im sorry for being jealousy. i know i shouldnt but sometimes the feeling came and it took control of my heart. when i was feeling jealous in the bus i was holding on to our ring so hard till it hurts my fingers. i was forcing myself not to cry. i dont want to tell u how hurt i was. i was trying to be strong. but u knew.

i guess what u said was true when we were at Mcdonalds.
i choose you because there was a something that you have that no other girls have.. same goes with you. you choose me because there was something different about me from other guys. so why should i be jealous?

i guess thats true.

at home we talked it out everything we did and said for the day.
for all the arguments we had.
im really sorry syg. i didnt mean to hurt u in any way.

hmm.
i guess thats all now.
what a day.

darling's sentence-of-the-day : I WANT TO BUY IPOD TOUCH
My sentence-of-the-day: I WANT TO BUY HEELS!

lols.

seriously syg.
thanks for the day.
ive been loving u so much till it hurts me by all the little-st things.

nitex now.
tmr results.
tmr going out with rohani. xD

blackshot :D

2010-03-21T21:41:00.004+08:00

happy sehh.

i played like one round of team death flag today and i was like the best player for that round :D
happpyyyy XD

best player as in the shoot the most :D
i never been a top player for any round.
i was always the last few people below :X hahax.
with suckish shootings and lots of deaths! :S lols.

took a screenshot of it!

thatt girl pic is meee XD
fierce gituk kan! hahax.

alrighttt.
other than this, ive got nothing else to blog about.
except im having bad tummy pain right now and i have no idea why.
stupid menses still not here yet. its like 5 days pass the estimation next period date...
hmmmm. im not stress am i? :S

alright.
i shall stay at home tomorrow.
meet darling on tuesday.
and meet rohani on any of the remaining days. XD

nitex XD

random thoughts:
yesterday dad blanja me a nice new pair of black flats that has "cushion" inside. im feeling of grabbing a nice new pairs of heels.
and i saw RUBI SHOES are opening at JP2 Level 2. the link from JP1 level 2 to JP2 Level3. im exciteddd la! feels like grabbing more shoes! :X

ohs and i reallyy craving for a nice pair of heels from mondo!
I WANT TO GO TO IMM MONDO PLEASE!
and i hope there's sizes too. i really damn hate it if its the last pair -.-

hmmm.
ohs and please my pay! please please let me get it fast so i could start shopping for school!
oh shit. talking about school. results out on 24MARCH! shits! i totally forgotten about it!! kay kaayy. i wanna play bejeweled in fb :O

im addicted to it all over agggaiiinnnn :S

ohs and i forgot. celebrated mum's bday today. with abang family came over. had a most wonderful cake; (okay not as WONDERFUL as that durian cake i had for my bday :X)

its wonderful cause its superbly chocolateyyy XD (sounds like coco krunch advertisement! LOLs)

andd yeapp. happy birthday to my wonderful mom. ~~yes sometimes you can make me pissed of with you.~~ but even so i will always love you XD You're the best mum in everything! i will always love you and forever.♥♥♥

new blogskin XD

2010-03-19T21:41:00.002+08:00

im loving my new stripeey blogskin XD

i havent been blogging last few days was because i was working on this skin.
i love it.
the color combination! especially the background xD

ohs and my shifting project at Hilltop ended yesterday.
as again i didnt blog because of editing this layout.

pretty glad and sad at the same time;
glad: i finally get to have my sleep & i could spend my days with sewing and shopping with rohanii & being with riidzman!
sad: there goes my $35 for friday.

so end up i counted...
i managed to get about $300+ which im glad. VERY GLAD

butt if there's cpf, theenn about $260+
oh well at least there is still cash.

now what im thinking of is either stay at home or find another job till school starts.
im thinking of finding another job. at least i have incoming cash right?

hmmm.
and my library pay hopefully will comes by next mid month. sad-ed.

lets see.
what shall i get... hmm
// that couple jacket. RED KAYS DARLING?
// skinny jeans!
// bright yellow heels!
// that black mary-jane online XD
// NEW FRAME SPECS!

hmm. i guess thats all for now. i hopppe :X

alright! niitex XD

no shoes

2010-03-14T21:21:00.002+08:00

boo hoo. sad-ed i still havent bought any shoes :(

but i madee things todayy xD

i finish off my purple and pink sewing bow.

and i made my first bangle!

i loovee it!

ohs and thats the red pillow made for rohanii xD

here are the pics XD

i guess thats all for noww arh.

nothing much to blog.

tmr monday :(

gotta start work liaoo. sad-ed & gonna be super tiring..

new haircut~

2010-03-13T21:33:00.002+08:00

yayy i got my new haircut today.

i intended to buy shoes la!

then i saw shoes at Mondo.

all last pair. and im like zzzzzz

but i did got to buy my resources for the sewing2 thingy xD

i bought red,blue,white and yellow XD

newayysss;

i got my new haircut today and i love it.

although darling said it looks like some chinadoll/minah korea, but i still like it.

im considering of doing soft rebonding.

but darling said he doesnt like rebonded hair.

sssoo i think i shall not do it arh.

so yeap.

i guess that all xD

i need shoes!

here are the pics xD

weekends!

2010-03-12T21:00:00.003+08:00

tomorrow is Saturday! XD

wheee.

im gonna shop for shoes tmr!

heels & flats!

went home early today.

work as okay. as usual.

tired. carrying books. shifting shelves. cleaning shelves.

basically its like:

#1 carry books from shelf to trolley.

#2 books from trolley transfer to a room.

#3 dismantle shelves.

#4 clean shelves.

#5 fix shelves.

#6 transfer books from room to trolley.

#7 transfer books from trolley to shelves.

yes thats about what i do every single day.

the tiring part is:

#1 from bustops going up to hilltop library

#2 from hilltop going to fc3 for lunch.

#3 from fc3 going back to hilltop

#4 from hilltop to bustop agaiinn

im soo glad i have weekendss andd i could soo get ~~some~~ lots rest.

ohs and ive been playingg blackshot XD

alright.

i really reallyy hoppee the weekendss gonna be a bitt longerr xD

ii need loots of restt!

seee yoouuu! ♥

random: i feel like cutting concave/long bob with bangs.

long bob

long bob with bangs

concave

i see that the concave with bangs isnt as nice. so i leave it out.

i wanna try bangs this year and see how it goes.

i somewhat prefer long bob with bangs!

imm so excitteedd!

so so whoever reads my blog; hopee u could help me choose tooo XD

niiitex!

updates

2010-03-11T21:09:00.002+08:00

okay la. alhamdullilah my arm got really better.
except i was having leg cramps from squarting up and down.

sheesh.
i think ill grow muscles from carrying thick& heavy books.
and i think i kinda sprain my right wrist :S i cant turn it somewhat. annoying kiex!

anddd i have to walk super far for lunch.
and its like so sad-ed cause i have to walk from hilltop library to fc3 alone.
and eat alone.
drink alone.
except i dont go toilet alone :X
and from fc3 goes back to hilltop library alone. again.

and just now, i was tired from walking from fc3 to hilltop library.
went to the food haven and went to take a short rest.
im so needing my sleep!

and im not going to hilltop library anymore when school starts.
im sick of going up and down the hills.

i wanna get my pay fast and so i could go shopping fast!
i wanna spend on shoes& heels.
its been i think...
2 months since i bought shoes! noo fair!
shoes are my addiction.
and so are you my darling ridzman XD

i think im done with blogging now.

ill put some pictures later kiex?

i wanna do editing.

ohs and i did a blogskin on remember december by demi lovato.

but i havent done any codings at all. sungguh the malas& leceh.

im thinking of changiing my skin too.

ill do it next next monday.

after next friday i hopeeee i could really rest!

i wanna do my sewing addiction back.

ohs and im thinking of selling those XD

pictures uploaded later kiiiex!

hmm hmm.

i think thats all arh.

i should be sleeping now.

tired. super super tired.

tomorrow is going to be another day. another tiring book shifting day

seee youu ♥

im back XXD

2010-03-07T21:31:00.003+08:00

hahax!
omg this seems super old arh.

its already march and the last time i updated was in february.
super long la! i knoww!

lots of things happened.
mixed up/confused.
exams.
holidays.

as for my exams real screwed i guess :S
eh wait; i cant even remember my exams!
please please let me pass.

ohs and its like the 3rd week of holidays tmr :S
so fast la okay.
ohs and that reminds me. i need to check when does the new term starts.
19-april

okay then..
i just started work.
at sp library. either at main library or hilltop library.

i rather prefer at main library out of which i could start later. which is at 11;
if at hilltop library i have to start work at 9am.
super early kan!

i have to wake up at 730, get in the bus at about 8 plus or so.
reached at about 830 or 840 plus.
walk all the way to hilltop library was like super jauh la!

thennnn
its been only three days then my tgnn feels soo aching arhh.
wait its not aching. its numb more like it.
yesterday night it was my right arm.
today it is my left arm. superrr annoying la!

and i walk alot and carry books up and down the shelves.
cleaning shelvesss.
penatt really.
i really hope the pay is worth all the pain!

yeap.
i got nothing much to blog lagik.
but i will start blogging again okay XD
hahax.

2010-02-12T22:22:00.002+08:00

i wanna feel wanted by you.

can you and will you?
i wish ur job is not as important as i am.

yes its for the future.
but i dowan to think about the future now.

i want to think about the present.
i wish i could stop the time when im with you.
spending my time with you.

we have been spending lesser time together now...
and i hate that......

360th post

2010-02-10T12:32:00.003+08:00

kay my blog is dead again.

im in the library right now.
and im not sure whether to go for nss or not.
even if i go, idk what else should i do.
screweeedd uppp!

and rwp;
i so dont feel of doing it.
and its due this friday!

and also my gems assignment.
shit arh stupid probability.

idk whats wrong with me but for this few days in this week ive been superbly tired.
and i so wanna take long long sleep.

ohs today i went to gym and i met this instructor.
he was like telling me about how to eat all those.
and so if i can rmbr....

#1 eat 6 times per day! in between of the 3 main meals, eat snacks.
#2 carbohydrates is a good source of "fuel" to our body.
#3 meaty food like chicken need a lot of energy to be digested.

so yeah i guess thats all
i think i shall try the 6 meals per day.
in between eat snacks.
okay i think its more like fruits snacks rather than chocolate snacks :X

i ran for about 20 minutes and i burned 110 cal :D
im happy.
but now im hungryyy.
im craving for a chicken rice :X
hmm maybe i should eat less chicken. cann i? hmmmmm

neways,today i have library assitant interview.
i really hope i get it.
im so wanting a job right nw.

i neeeed cashh and i need clothes.
and maybe heels. i miss shopping for heels :X

ohs and darling got his new specs today.
not fair... i so want to follow him.
then he dont let me..
not really dont let just that he said its to far away for me etc.
but that time i make my new specs, i asked him to follow and let him be the first one to see it.
then he make new specs then people from his work is gonna be the first one to see them.
not me.
okay i might be acting like as if im childish but seriously, i dont care.
i want to be childish.
its my problem. not urs.

and thinking back, when i was in sec 3, i always wonder,
"in 5 years time, how i will be?
how will i look like?
how will i dress?
what would i like to wear?
will i look different as i am in sec3?"
and some other things

and here i am. 5 years later.
20 years old this year.
and im still like this.
except i grow fatter :X
and ive been using makeups a lot often now.
im taller because i wear heels often. lols.
and i wear dresses with cardiganss.
anddd im still stuck with specs. which is just plain annoying!

ohs and think back, ive achieved quite somethings so far.
#1 6 weeks of travelling to changi by train by myself.
#2 able to stay up awake writing notes till 2 am.
#3 warning letter for skipping 3 lessons :X
#4 failing mst quiz. stupiiidd nss!
~~#5 able to gain weight by eatin lots of chocolates.~~
okay strike that off. thats nt really an achievement, doesnt it?
ohss!
#5 able to go gym for 4 straight weeks! yayyy :D
but still no diff :X

alright. i really think i should do something now.
wish me luck for the interview :D please please please let me get iittt!
seee ya :D

2010-02-03T20:53:00.003+08:00

am such a bad girlfriend
that always ask for arguments from you.

i guess ive decided.
i shall just stopped talking.

i miss the feeling of wanted from you.
i wonder do u feel the same?

tomorrow.
4 feb is the first day i meet u last year.
how i wish i could be spending the day with u tmr.
i know u cant.

shit.
chest pain.

i wanna overdose on a kiss

2010-02-02T20:42:00.003+08:00

shit arh.
kena warning letter!
stupid NSS! zzzzzzzzzzzzz
i dowan the letter to get to my parents!
i for sure will die if my parents see itt.

neways.
i have been much thought today.
after you told me to be independent.
shit i hate that word.

if thats what u want.
ill do it.
i need someway to do it now. and idk how.

i will try my best.
just for u okay.

i never looked back;
cross my heart and hope to die
i did it for love, love
a pretty thing called love, love
i wanna overdose on a kiss
will you be my drug, drug?
yeah be my drug,drug

and no, you'll never have to see
you'll never have to see me
never have to deal with me again
if that's what you want
and that's what you get
no, you'll never have to see
you'll never have to see me
never have to deal with me again
you'll never have to deal with me again

no the song have nothing to do with anyone.
i just like the lyrics xD

2010-02-01T19:51:00.003+08:00

i miss you.

when are u not going to be busy?
when is ur work going to let u have time for me...?

i can forgive but i find it hard to forget

supposed to do rwp

2010-01-30T21:53:00.002+08:00

omg im really supposed to do RWP!

but wth am i doing!
at this instance, i feel like throwing my laptop to the wall! zzz damn lag!
i defrag alreadyy!
and the disk space i used is not even half!!
zzzzzzzzz

neways i just rmbred something;
darling did his serious scary voice again on the phone yesterday.
and he asked me to promise him not to cry.
and im like "hmm okayy xD"
in my heart was like "please please let it not be something to do with his job"

and then he told me three words.
I LOVE YOU
at that point of time i couldnt stop but i felt like crying.
and he was like "eh u promised!"
and i told him "i miss that part of u xD"
the part that he would say something in a serious scary voice and would make me nearly have chest pain :X
but heyy its a good kind of chest pain xD

so yeap.
i miss that part of you darling xD

hmm..
shit i wanna say something but i forgot :X

hmmm...
seriously i totally forgot.

oh well.
i shall start rwp now okay!
hahax.

how long would i take for me to forget someone?

ZA products are loved♥

2010-01-30T14:41:00.003+08:00

its weekendss and i still havent start doing on my rwp :S

hmm hmm.
i dont know what to blog actually.
buttt okay let me blog my to-buy list.

hmm.
ive been taking care of my beauty nowadays.
hahax. okay im not vain okay.
i just feel like i should do something about it xD

i start with nails.
and im happy with it.
my naills are shiiinyyy XD

okay my broken toe nail still look bad.
okay not really bad. its just that it look very weird.
and soo i should really start my collection of ZA product xD

well the list actually consists of a lot of ZA make-up products.

// ZA eye make up set ~ mascara & eye curler [$19.90! but 20% off!]
= wide eye mascara in black
// ZA Concealer perfection in shade 1
// ZA pure shine lipstick in Red Coral RD3
// ZA blush vibrante in B2
// ZA True White Cleansing Foam
// ZA Metavoltage cream
// ZA True White Lotion

oh yeah
i have things i wanna buy.
but i need money.
hmm i shall try to eat less and see if i can lose more weiighhT
and alssoo i need to save moneyyyy XD

alright im done now.
i shall really start on rwp.
lols!

i miss my boyfriend already :(
sad-ed

1ST YEAR ANNIVERSARY♥

2010-01-28T18:53:00.004+08:00

TODAY is like finally my first year anniversary with darling.

darling has work yesterday and that means that he will be late and such.
and so i stayed in bed for a lil while longer.
finally woke up at 8 plus and get ready to meet darling.

after 45 minutes of make-ups or so; i went out to meet darling at Clementi.

reached Clementi and i was glad to be saw him
to see him smile.
to be close to him.
darn it. i didnt know that im missing so much thing about him even though its been last two weeks since i met him :S

we went to have brunch (probably?) at clementi.
we both had wanton.
while sometimes i stopped eating, i will just sit and stare at him.
stare at him eating. okay maybe not really staring? since staring is rude.
well more like admiring him? yes. thats more like it.

after we are done we went to walk around and such. XD
all the while, all i ever wanna do at that time was to hold onto his hand.
like as if today was the last day im holding it.
i miss his hands on mind.
omg im starting to cry.

anw, we took bus to IMM then.
something happened in the bus. out of which im not gonna describe it here.
because its just too sad-ening.

then we reeach IMM, we walked around and such,

we went to daisoo xD
and thanks darling for buying stuffs for me! XD

then we both decided to go to Jurong Point next.
we too two buses.
and still things happened again in the bus.

we reach Jurong Point and we walked around.
ohs and then when we were walking around, there's this guy doing some demo on figure nails. hahax!
and i got free manicures.
well not really free u know, i have to like buy this whole set.
the buffer, the lotion and the cuticle oil.

and the whole set was at $49.90
eh u know my nails was really damn shinyy arh!
okay i pestered darling to buy the whole set for me and he kept say noo :X hahax.
itsss okaayyy. i found another solution xD

then after that we went to make our ring.
and i think that was the couple ring that i have been eyeing for quite some time.
it does cost 64 dolars per pair xD

and i love it!
we decided to put our name ridz at the top and lin at the bottom.
and its supperrr niiice xD

then then right.
since it took 1 hour for the rings to be ready, we decided to eat at swensens!
thannkss so much darling for the treat! xD

i ate fish and chips then darling ate swensens combo.
then after that we had shared ring-a-ding-a-ling ice cream! XD
i loovvee!

ohs and while we were eating darling was layaning this lil boy.
and the boy is so cutte!
like i think 1 year old plus?
and darling was like smiling at him and the baby smiiillee!
and the baby smile is like super cutee arhh!

i feel that darling is going to be a good father.
and in conclusion; DARRRLLIIINNNG LETS HAVE OUR OWN CHILDREN!
hahax!

then after that i tried on my buffer that i bought at daiso.
wow it does woorrks!
it is very shinyyy and i bought cuticle oil.
okay i didnt bought it. darling bought it for me in Sasa xD

then after we walk around for the oil, we went to take our rings.
and ii loooveee it!

then after that we went walked together.
and i like holding his hands.
i miss him.
and i really hate to be far away from him.
idk when its going to be the next time im gonna meet him.

pictures here! XD

thanks so much for the day darling.
i really enjoyed it.
thanks for the swensens treat, the rings and other stuffs.
i love you.
and i dont want to lose u.

please dont ever leave me.
happy 1st year anniversary.
insyaallah there are more anniversary to come.

GGGYYYMMMM-TWO

2010-01-27T21:32:00.002+08:00

wooooo my second time to gym! ♥
i am so loviingg it xD

Last week i went to gym for just five minutes!
but todayy i went to gym for an hour! eh wait. an hour and ++

first i did running on the treadmill.
i have told myself to really complete the 20 minute run.
i start myself with slow walk, medium walk then faster walk and lasly was just a jog :X
hahax oh yeahh i dont think i should run so much.
thenn near the ending, i was starting to feel giddy.
thenn the last 2 minutes, i increase my speed to the jog and after 1 minute, i slow down to fast walk. lols.
thenn after 20 minutes, i slowly stopped andd i feel giddy.

and silly me. i was still feel dizzy and i was trying my best to not even look at where i was walking.
i thought my legs was already on the floor but i realised i was still at the tip of the treadmill.
and when i move forward, i was like nearly gonna fall!
i think there we guys who were infront of the treadmill might have saw i was nearly going to fall.
lols. but i didnt even look at any of them.
i went straight to my bag to drink 100 plus.
only after that i felt a lil bit better. still oozzyy but not so bad arh. still can walk.

theen after treadmill, i went to do some exercise on the machine that is for thighs.
khai told me to do 4 sets which meansss 12 per sets.
andd i stopped arh like doing for sometime.
cause i could feel the stretch on my thighs!

theenn went to talk with janessa XD
and she told me some tips too.
showed me how to do on some machines.
thankkks jan :D

then i did this idk what the machine is called.
where i have to pull this "somewhat" weight to my shoulders.
i did 12 i think xD

then i tried on dumbells.
jan showed me how to do wit it.
oh yeahh the stretch was on my upper arms! oouuucch!

thenn she taught me how to do crunches. (out of which i cant do it :X)
i rather do sit ups :X lols.
neways, thenn she taught me do stretches and such.
which really. pretty fun xD

theen after thatt went to weigh myself.
sucks i hate my weight! lols!
i so need to lose like 3kg.
i hope to do it for a month xD

hmm hmm. then had lunchh and such.
andd i hate going up stairs :S
lols.

im sure that tomorrow i will suffer bad bad aches!
talking aboutt tomorrow.
lets hope tomorrow is a good day.
for both me and darling.

wow. its 1st year anniversary!
after all those ups and downs we went thru together.
and heyy darling send me the poem that he sent me one year ago.
im so not gonna lose it again XD

im sorry darling for kept creating problems for u.
kept being an non-understanding girlfriend to you.
non-supportive of u and ur job (i mean really ur job is zzzz.. lols okay sorry!) and whaterver non- that follows :X

i love you okay.
and in this 1 year we have been together, i learnt a lot from you.
and i guess there are still more things to be learnt.
for the better of our relationship and our future together.

and on 25 january was the first year that i met u.
not officially met but online-ficially? LOLS. okay i know there's no such word.
anw; yeap i met u online on alamak on that day.
and it been the happiest thing that happen to me xD

we stead on the 28 january 2008; 1050pm.
out of which we still havent officially meet yet.

our first meeting was on the 4 feb 08 at chinese garden xD
1pm out of which if im not wrong, was the day after my fe exams. lols

so yeap.
months come and goes and yeap tmr is out first year anniversarryy xD
lets hope i shall get as much pics as possible tmr xD

alright.
shall off to bed now.
please body dont ache too much! lols!
niiitex xD

but i guess

TWO DAYYS!

2010-01-26T20:00:00.002+08:00

wooo! TWO more days xD to our first year anniversary together xD
i admit. a lot of arguments kept coming up. that seriously sucks!

i really hope this thursday would be a happy day for both of us.
and i dowan to arguee.
and i dowan to talk about work.
and i dowan talk about anything that could make us both argue.
let this thurday be a happpyy day for both of us.

hmm.hmm.
there's a lot of things to do nowadays.
gems presentation are done. left one more lesson nxt week and thats the end of the gems for this sem.
eh wait. its more like really the LAST GEMS! wheee!
no more gems next semmmm! iii liiikkkeee!
hope to get more of my beauty sleep! hehex!

theenn i hope to really finish my nvst this week.
then next week can study for the test.

thennn now is week 15
i have 3 weeks to study for both NSS and NVST end of sem quiz.
shit i really have no confidence in NSS seh.
i kept failing the quiz. then the mst quiz also i fail. sad-ed sehh

then thenn im left with nss and netp practical.
both can be manageable because its group work.
stupid nvst need to do individual.

then tadii kan. the teachherr arhhh really makes me annoyed seh.
i kept asking her to check my work. then die mcm tk layan gituk.
like wth? then she sebok with some diploma plus thing or what.
annoying kan. then when i call her, she will like ask me wait.
then she done with her stuffs, she went to some else instead. like really zzzzz! -.-

tmr i still need to see her.
finish up the nvst.
mcm nk give up seh really tadi.
mcm nk really break down gituk.
i see all those people like wayne they all, like they die die wana do so well.
mcm i feel so demoralised! and wth am i talking in malay. ala gasak arh! hahax.

i think i speak too much english and end up talking less malay :S
neways kan. smlm i went home with dad. and i took this bus.
ade ni 3 org budak really merepek.
ite students. 2 girls 1 guy.
im not here to hate ite student tau. but as for this 3 students kan. diorg mcm really buat org marah u know!
they sit right at the front of the double deck bus then diorg bebual english, slang die mcm really menyampah seh! and for god sa
ke, they are malay! cant u speak english the way other malay people do?
if diorg were to talk like softly or something, i dont mind tau.
not only they talk loudly, they even on their song like loud and one girl and the guy sang!
im really like wtf? if ur voice sedap tu tkpe arh! zzzz brainless people -.-

i sat there and on my songs damn loud to not hear their voice.
i sat there with a -.- on my face!

neways neways.
i got nothing to say now.
i wanna find softwares for nvst.
yes i should really try my best!
alright :D im doneee heereee!

can chocolates always be my cure?

2010-01-24T20:01:00.002+08:00

im upset. darling has to work on THURSDAY!
he promised.

and he even told his manager.
urghhhhh. stupidddd managerrrr.

im not blaming darling.
just upset that he could have just quit his job just like anyone else.
but he doesnt want cause he likes his job.
for some part of the time, i dont blame him because he like his job.
but on other times, if lesser people are working there, it means that he has more job to do.
and if he got more job to do, he will have lesser time for me :(
sad-ed

anyways.
i shall still go for gym this wednesday.
im determined to lose at least 2 kg this month.
and yeah i shall stop eating chocolates too.
okay maybe not really stop.
maybe lesser it?

but but.
i like chocolates.
cause it never fails to make me feel better.

oh well i shall try my best.

things to buy:
// ZA lipbalm - shit i lost it; so i have to buy it again.
// ZA eye make up - 19.90 at watson
// black cardigan
// Za whitening lotion
// clear file
// cotton on clothes xD
// to be continuued.